The exquisitely delicious humiliation of having cum all over your body - and not being allowed to wipe it off

We were lying in bed, resting for a while (last night was a party night). I was naked and cuddled up with my back towards him, pressing my ass firmly against his crotch and him playing and stroking my stomach and breasts. So really, when I say resting I meant arousing each other.
Seeing as we are both kinda ill at the moment we knew we weren't headed for a big session, just som cozy fun.

After a while I was ordered around and told to touch him. I started stroking his cock in long, smooth movements and playing with his oh so sensitive nipples. He had his hand on the back of my head, applying a steady pressure down towards his cock or just a firm grip of my hair. Extremely cozy and very pleasant.

Later, when it was time for him to have his orgasm, I asked, a bit embarrassed, where he meant to ejaculate. A subtle question with a deeper meaning. He knows how much I love having sperm on my body and hearing my question he quickly changed his plans from tissues to my body. So he ejaculated, smearing cum all over my stomach and breasts and it was lovely. Feeling it hit the body, the warm liquid all sticky and gooey, and knowing that I'll have to lay still until it has dried completely on my body. Marvellous! Amazing! Hot as hell!

We cuddled while we waited for it to dry and then got up and he told me what clothes I was allowed to wear today - knee high socks and a tank top.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Last night I got spanked

For the longest time I've lacked the lust to play and/or have sex. I have barely masturbated. I just didn't want to, it's fairly normal for my body to do such things - sometimes it's horny as hell and sometimes it just wants peace and quiet.

Anyhow, last night we were watching the miniseries about Sherlock Holmes, me and the Math Teacher, when I decided to cuddle up next to him and timidly ask if he could read my mind. Wich he could!

Soon I found myself over his knee, with my pants and panties pulled down to my knees, and so we finished watching the tv while he was slowly stroking and teasing my butt. I enjoyed every second of it. Relaxing, arousing and wonderful.

Not soon after the show ended he asked me if I was ready and started spanking me. Oh how I love the spanking in the beginning when it's all very soft and thrilling! Just the right amount of pain to enjoy it. Didn't take him long to take it up a notch though and soon my moans where mixed with pleasure and pain.

Besides regular hand spanking we went through the cane, the riding crop, a spatula, a bath brush and a homemade plastic loop wich stings like a bee. All very hurtful and all very lovely!

After all was done and over with and I was lying over his knee, breathing and feeling happy, I asked him to touch me and that's how we ended our evening - me having a really strong orgasm after all that lovely pain.

The Math Teacher

I've decided to call the new playpal The Math Teacher. He's smart, generous, a sadist and a switch.

It's been present from the beginning of our relationship. The pain. We both enjoy it, cherish it and want more of it. We both curse at the other when being hurt but the second the pain stops we ask for more. We often laugh and joke about our lack of self-preservation but in truth, I don't think any of us feel as much alive as when the pain runs through our bodies. It's a kick. An addiction and we don't plan on quitting. Ever.

He wants me to hurt him. To use his body to inflict pain, to use him to arouse myself. And I do. I torture and torment his body in every way I can imagine, enjoying every minute of it, and he still asks me for more when I'm done. It's all very liberating and I've discovered that my sadistic side is stronger and more evil than I ever imagined.

I want him to hurt me. To use me. To make me scream and cry. To leave my body with red marks and an exhausted mind. And he does. He plays with my body and mind until I'm right where he wants me, and then he hurts me some more. I enjoy every minute of it. The fear, the pain, the acceptance and the intense feelings - all mixed together into bliss.

...in wich she finds a new play pal, breaks up with her boyfriend and considers moving to Stockholm

So yeah, the title says it all really. Me and my boyfriend has broken up. We've been together for 8 years roughly and living together for 5. We're not angry at each other, we do not hate each other, we're simply put still friends. And the caring and loving for each other is still there but more in the form of brother and sister-love. So we decided to make it official a month or two ago without to much of a fuss. There's nothing dirty about it at all, we just decided that it was time we went our separate ways. It does actually feel kinda nice, I feel strong and like I'm finally going somewhere in my life. All will be well in the end somehow.

Speaking of moving on with my life, I've applied to university in Stockholm and if I get accepted I'll be moving there. It's a big city compared to where I'm living now and there's people everywhere! I guess I'll get used to it eventually but for now it's a bit scary. Hopefully this will lead to education, a good job and a chance to be closer to my friends.

I didn't really waste any time after The Beast left, I licked my wounds and started hunting again. He didn't crush me by the way it all ended but he did leave some wounds. I think they're healed now, just some scar tissue left to handle. Soon after our breakup I realized that the man I've been mailing with back and forth during the summer was actually quit nice talking to, and his writing made me curious for more. So we met, it all went well and here I am, two months later, sitting in his apartment, wearing his clothes and writing on his computer.

I'm sorry to say...

As much as it saddens me to write this I have to let it out. Me and The Beast is no more. We've broken up and most likely won't see each other for sex again. At times I feel relieved and at times I wish to go back to what we had.

I've experienced so much in the arms of that man and I'm sure we could have gone much deeper into bdsm than we did, we were always coming up with new things to try out and I did some stuff with him I never thought I'd do.
It felt like nothing were holding us back and there were nothing we couldn't tell each other about sex. Sadly other parts of our relationship were messed up and we never got them back on track.

It was an amazing journey.
Though I'll try to get back up on my feet and start looking for a new partner in (crime) bed as soon as possible, not having sex is boring.

Had my heart broken - check.

Kissed a girl - check

I was watching Eurovision Song Contest Semifinal II last night and during two performances the male singer took a steady grip on his female counterparts throat on the stage.
My submissive side awoke both times.
Getting my needs well fulfilled last weekend apparently made me hungry for more, not satisfied for a while ahead. Could also be the period incoming. God I'm horny.




Furthermore, this is an awesome picture. Feeling that big strong hand pressing over your mouth, not being able to scream or get away. Yes please! Like now. Like all the time.

My mind is so sick at times. And I love it!

The surprise

Cling film.

Ever tried that as a bondage tool? If not, do so.

Last week The Beast had promised me a surprise for the weekend. We were going to spend four days together and I had high hopes for what he had in plan for me. I was not let down. At all.

I went to his place Thursday afternoon, regular sex occured, we cuddled and fell asleep. Friday came, we did a bunch of chores and in the afternoon it was time to start preparing the dinner. But first he sent me to the shower to shave and clean up. So I shaved real close, making my pussy hairless except for a tuft of hair above the lips. Suddenly he bursts in through the door wielding a pair of scissors and brutally cut a big chunk of the tuft away. I wasn't in submissive mood at the time so I was really stunned when he did it but yet surprisingly horny by it.

When I was done in the shower he told me he wanted to dress me up. A black rope harnesk around my upper body, black leather cuffs around my ankle and wrists, a chain running from ankle to ankle and a chain running from my waist to my wrist cuffs, he put a strong vibrator in my pussy and a leather collar around my neck.

Then he started wrapping me in cling film. He covered my body in it, starting from my breasts and ending just below my pussy. When he was done I had a shiny, see-through, dress. 

I could barely move and bending over was impossible. Looking at myself in the mirror was awesome, it looked gorgeous with the plastic and the black details. I do want to do that again!

After preparing the dinner and putting it in the oven it was time to eat. I made the table for one and he cut my pizza into small slices and served them in a bowl on the floor. The sensation of being forced to stick your face into a bowl on the floor and getting food all over your face is lovely. The humiliation, the position with your ass sticking out - it all works. After being a good girl and finishing the food I was allowed to sit at the table and even got permission to speak more freely. But only for 20 minutes. And I wasen't allowed to look at the watch. That was exciting and a really nice advice if you want to freak out your sub. You sub will either constantly be afraid of missing the time so she barely speaks or forget about the time and get caught doing something forbidden, wich in my opinion is a sweet sensation.

The evening had more fun stuff, but I'll get back to that at a later time!

That oily sensation

The Beast has a rubber sheet (it's not actually rubber but close enough) wich we finally got around to using last weekend. We spread it over his huge bed, took of our clothes and started putting on oil. Just regular baby oil to be economic. Let me put it this way - Go buy yourself a sheet (english/swedish)! You don't have to be even slightly kinky to appreciate this. It's lovely!

Being slippery and oily and sliding around on the sheet is fun but it's not why you should buy it. It's for the sensation of getting stroked all over your body over and over and over. The oil, the sheet and your partners body work together in a wonderful way and every nerve is getting stimulated at the same time. I'm generally a horny person but being huddled up with The Beast on that sheet made me go bananas. We humans do require human touch to feel good and that's exactly what this session gave to us. Touch. Feeling good.

The session did start out with me in a submissive role and him as my master but it was soon apparent that I couldn't keep myself in that role, the oil and the sheet felt to good to have as a second stimulation. It needed to be my first. So we switched. Between sub and dom, between kink and vanilla and we spent a good 3 hours having fun on that sheet. I'm guessing it'll be used more often in the future.

Portal

So I recently came into possession of a copy of Portal. I've been wanting to try it out but was afraid that the puzzles would drive me into madness so I didn't want to buy it. But lo and behold, Steam offers it for free!

Now, this is not a game review (The game is really sweet though) but rather about a google search I did after playing for a while on the name GlaDOS, wich is an AI that follows you throughout the game.

Can't recall why I googled her but the first picture that showed up was this one and I fell for it. I love the mumification, the sense deprivation, the leather belts. It's all lovely!

"With his hands around my neck, I close my eyes and pass away"

I have always been into breath control but since I met The Beast that interest has really exploded and I can't imagine sex without some kind of breath control. Preferably being strangled.

First of all, my neck is an erotic zone and any kind of touch there will cause goosebumps on me. Secondly it's the power I give to my partner: "Here's my supply of oxygen, you decide if I can use it or not". And thirdly, something about the brutal hand around my throat and the look in The Beasts eyes when he does it makes me spin into immense hornyness. I'm rather certain that the lack of oxygen also has an impact on my bodys reactions but I know too little about biology to determine to wich extent.

As you might have guessed The Beast is really into it, strangling someone, and we've talked a bit about it. How far can you take it, when does it start to become dangerous (the second you put your hand around someones neck) and what do we want to keep as fantasy and what do we want to experience. So far we've taken it slow and safe and I never really had to struggle for air more than a few times but that is something I want to change. I want the feelings to rush through my body and I want them to rush because the panic is closing in and I have to restrain myself from starting to fight him. Then when I'm about to loose control or just have I want him to remove his hand and allow me to breath again. The intensity and amount of feelings then...oh boy!

The Rammstein video I have embedded is not only there because I love Rammsteins music. This song puts me in the mood of being strangled close to the edge and I can't help but being turned on by it. I have this image of how I want it being played while we take strangling one step further and I actually pass out because of it.
I'm rather certain it's not something I want to experience for real.
I think.

The return of the writer

This is a picture of The Beast holding my hair in a tight grip and pulling my head back. To a non-kinky eye it might look like I'm about to get a beating but rest assured, I'm in a very happy place on that picture.

You could say that my entire head is a erotic zone. Inside out.
Taking a firm grip of my throath, grabbing my hair and pulling my head back, holding my chin firmly, putting clothes peg on my lip or giving me a slap on the cheek are all ways to get me hot and submissive and will stimulate my mind too.
Kissing me gently and stroking my cheek like a delicate flower will make me yawn and start doing something more productive - like watching paint dry.

When pulling hair I find that it's important to take a big chunk of hair in ones hand, having to little hair in your hand will hurt to much for my taste and it'll most likely feel like you're actually trying to rip the hair of the skull. Not pleasant.

The collar I'm wearing is bought from an animal store and is a regular black leather collar for dogs but who knew, it fits a bitch too! Actually my favourite collar out of the four I have. It's plain and simple and I love it because of it, plus it fits my neck perfectly A bit on the tight side so I never forget that it's there. Asides from this I have another collar made for dogs but with bling bling on it, a wide posture collar in black leather and a hard silver necklace with The Beasts initial on it.

Yes I've worn both the silver necklace and the necklace on the picture in public and yes I was nervous!

One of this would be perfect for me. 

Would certainly keep me from making more mistakes. But I could use a lock on my mobile phone too. 

I went to sleep last night in the afterglow of an orgasm so naturally I woke up horny today. Feeling in a cocky mood I decided to share all the naughty details with The Beast. 

Of course I knew he was going to be very busy in the morning and probably not at all be able to have a sexy conversation with me but it didn't bother me. I wanted to tease him and so I did. SMS after SMS filled with thoughts I had before fallin asleep och things we are going to do to the weekend. Untill finally he snapped...

He called me, acting as my Master, and gave me a proper yelling. Telling me how badly I've behaved and how much I'm going to pay for this in the weekend. He really stepped up to the task of bringing me under control. I've honestly been feeling a bit shameful the entire day and my submissive side has been very active.

I love it!

Yay!

Something awesome happened the other week!

I complained a while back that I have a bit of a hang up when it comes to getting an orgasm without helping myself. Most of it is because I think to much and try to hard to reach orgasm.

One night my boyfriend woke me up with kisses and strokes. But I wasen't totally awake, just enough to know how to respond to his strokes. So when he went down on me and used a couple of fingers inside of me and put his thumb on my clitoris I only enjoyed myself. I didn't have any conscious thoughts at all and that's why it happened. He made me come all by himself! My hands were nowhere close to my pussy when the orgasm took my body in possession. It was awesome!

Seconds later I fell back into sleep without any kind of payback to my lovely boyfriend. Wops!

Confusing dreams

I had a long and advanced dream tonight in wich my summer crush had the lead part.

There were a brief part of sex in it but not enough to be classed as a sex dream. I think it was more a dream coming from the part of me that still has some kind of feelings for him. Of course I have feelings for him, he was a big part of my life for a time so it would be stranger to not have them. Question is what kind of feelings it is and why I feel a bit bothered.

A year ago he cancelled our friendship in favour of a relationship he wanted to function normally and I was fine with that at the time. I still get an sms on my birthday, christmas and on new years eve but all other contacts have been broken. Up until this fall I didn't miss him much, he was just a very fond memory. During the fall I started longing for his friendship again and you know I've mentioned before what I wouldn't give to have sex with him again. But I never been really sure as to why I felt like that? Did I miss him specifically or did I just miss someone like that?

After meeting the beast pretty much all of those feeling went away and I concluded that it was just a matter of wanting what I couldn't have. When waking up this morning I was confused again. The main part of the dream was about us talking and me trying to get an answer out of him but not getting it. Is there something I still need from him? Did our closure go bad? Or was the dream about the last sms I sent without getting a reply? No I don't stalk or spam, it was a simple question about his life.

Blowjobs

Ever since me and The Beast met we have been very responsible about our safety. We've always used a condom and never performed oral sex on either of us. We decided on our first meeting that we were gonna wait with oral sex until we're both sure that none of us have an STD. I've already got my test results back and I'm healthy as ever. At the end of the week he will have his results and after that it's party in the hay sack for us! Not that it isen't a big wooping party every time we meet...

I can't believe how much I'm longing for it, to be able to use my tongue and mouth on his dick. I long for that even more than I want his tongue on my pussy. Rather amazing eh? Every time we've had sex both of us have been longing and wanting to do it. Badly wanting to do it. I've been leaning over him and had my tongue close to his dick more than a few times and barely stopping in time, settling with nibbling and sucking his testicles. 

Worst case scenario is that he's not healthy but meh, I hardly believe that will happen. I don't want that to be true. I'm giving him a blowjob this weekend and that's the end of this discussion!

The Beast

I'd like you all to meet my newest play pal, The Beast.

We met at the kinky community I keep talking about (www.darkside.se), he found me, we started a conversation, you know; the usual stuff. After a while we decided that what we had felt good enough that a date would be suitable. Said and done, friday evening was spent together drinking tea and watching a movie (Avatar, go see, beautiful) and we found out that indeed we do make a good match.

Yesterday we spent in a little cottage out in the woods, all alone and no one to hear me scream...

We really hit it off, there were no hesitation or fumbling, spot on and full speed ahead at once.  Unless he had told me so I would never have guessed him to be a beginner-dom. His imagination is vivid and evil, he got the craftmanship to follow through on every nasty idea he gets and I'm the one he's doing it too. I feel blessed!

His nick-name is based on the fact that he's like a beast in bed, I merely have to grab onto his body (his oh so muscular body) and try to keep up. He also likes to bite me. My neck is red, scratched and complete with a hickey, and so is my breasts. Hence The Beast and the wolf picture.

This is a guy that will stay with me for a while so forget those others I've tried out lately, they pale in comparison. Remember, The Beast.

Merry Christmas!

Porrtrollet makes another notch in her bed post...

I'd just like note that I've met a boy, full of life and naughty toughts, that fit me exactly. We've just spent two glorious days together and I'm sure more will come as I finally seem to have a permanent play partner more close to my home.

For now I wish you all a very merry christmas with lots of spanking, presents and time to rejoice with the ones close to you. Mwah!