Friday, October 23, 2009

Orgasms

I have never in my life faked an orgasm and the times I've had sex and not had one can be counted on one hand throughout my entire life. I can make myself come very easily but I got a little hangup when someone tries to do it for me. Even though my summer crush made me think I died and went to heaven when he put his tongue on my pussy he never made me come. It strikes me as rather odd and I'm getting a bit frustrated by this. And sometimes I hear of girls only being able to come when someone else does it for them, I have no idea how they manage that?

And how do I get rid of a sexual hangup?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Caged, part 2

Better late than never ey?
Part two of the lovely novel by the lovely Mita from DarkSide.
Part one can be found here.


Once again, I woke up in darkness, curled in a little ball in my cage. This time, it was from my bladder reminding me of certain basic needs. I shifted restlessly, trying to find the most comfortable position, but froze as I heard footsteps coming my way, marching in time with the clinking of dangling keys. The footsteps stopped just outside my cage and the cover was flung off (someone must have checked up on me as I slept and put it back on). 
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I blinked in the sharp, sudden light. This was not the same man as before. This one had a handsome, clean-shaven face with piercing blue eyes, short blond hair and a tall, muscular body. He was dressed all in black and held a leash in one hand while he bent to unlock and open the door of my cage.

“Come here. Now, you do not want me to have to come in and get you!” he said with a low but commanding voice as I hesitated, pressed against the bars across the cage from him, trying to hide my nakedness. I finally obeyed, but apparently I wasn’t moving quickly enough for his liking, for as soon as I was close enough he reached in with his right hand, grabbed a hold of my hair, and pulled to make me move faster. As I exited the cage and was on the floor just in front of him, he held his grip on my hair, and pulled my upper body up and back. At the same time he gave my behind a lash with the end of the leash and said “Sit” in a prompt tone. I sat down on my heels, and before he let go of my hair he tilted my head downwards. He clipped the leash in place, and then turned so that I was kneeling close to his left side.

“Now, this is called “Heel”, and is what you’re expected to do when exiting out of your cage, of course always waiting for the order before moving” he told me, and with a quick tug on the leash and a curt “Come,” he started forward, me crawling on all fours next to him. He kept the leash very short, and I was forced to lengthen my neck as much as I could, and keep close to his leg, in order not to chokingly be dragged along. 

We went to a door I hadn’t noticed before, set in the opposite wall. Behind it was a bathroom complete with shower stall, sink and a toilet. He stopped a couple of steps into the bathroom, pulling me to a sitting position with the leash. He then unclipped it and pointed to the toilet. 

“Help yourself to the toilet.” He made no move of leaving the room, and when I hesitated he poked my butt with the tip of his boot. “Your days of privacy are over. You might as well get used to that right now. Get moving!” Mortified and flushing furiously, I went to the toilet and did what I had to do, whilst looking down on the floor; trying to pretend that he wasn’t in the room, watching me. 

When I had finished he ordered me into the shower, hands on the wall in front of me. I heard him bustling about, but didn’t dare to take a peak. I jumped when warm water suddenly hit me in a soft shower. He made sure I was thoroughly wet before turning the water off, pouring some shampoo on my hair and starting to massage it in. After having kneaded my head and neck, he poured a fresh-smelling soap on a puff and kept soaping my arms, back and legs. I had started to relax a bit from the warm water and the luxury of being gently and thoroughly washed, letting my head hang forward with my eyes closed, and didn’t react when he started soaping my belly, until he suddenly dropped the puff to the floor and let both his hands slide up to my breasts to give them a firm squeeze. 

My head came up with a snap, and instinctively I tore my hands from the wall to grab his hands to pry them off me. Quicker than I could react though, he had both of my arms twisted behind my back, held securely in a one-handed firm grip. My cheek and body were pressed hard against the wall in front of me while his big, muscular body was leaning on my tiny form. 
“Bad girl”, he hissed in my ear. “I did not give you permission to move, much less to touch me. Resistance is futile. The sooner you get that into your system, the better for you.” As he spoke, he swatted my butt a few times, to punctuate his words. I tried to squirm, but it was impossible, I was held too tightly.

He took my hands and again placed them on the wall in front of me. Then he laid his hands on my waist and pulled my lower body out further from the wall, so that I became unbalanced and had to lean on my hands not to fall over. Afterwards he made me spread my feet wide so that my body was positioned in the classic strip-and-search pose, and finally ordered me to stay put, or else…

I was panting slightly from fright and didn’t dare to do anything other than obey. He waited a minute or so, to let me calm down a bit, then let his hands again slowly slide up to cup my breasts. He started playing with them, squeezing, caressing, and lightly flicking the nipples, alternating the sensations from soft to hard and with occasional small bursts of pain. After a little while, he took my nipples between his fingertips and slowly, slowly tweaked them until I gasped from the pain. He kept still there for a moment, just to make a point of me having to let him do whatever pleased him, before letting go and returning to his toying of my breasts with one hand. The other one he let slide down my body, over my stomach, all the way to my cunt. With his other hand, he kept one of my nipples in a warning grip, silently telling me to behave, while he let his hand slide in between my legs.

Next, he let his finger, slick with foamy soap and my natural moisture, thoroughly examine every crevice of my pussy. I closed my eyes, trying, to no avail, to distance myself from my body’s reactions. But he made it impossible for me to ignore his hands, as they skilfully mixed pleasure with pain. Pretty soon, he had my stiff body trembling, my breaths now pants from arousal, more than fear. As he let first one, then two long fingers slip deep inside me, I involuntarily gasped from the intensity of the sensation, arching my back as much as I could, grinding myself on his hand. Just as I was about to abandon my stubborn and useless struggle not to come, my legs weak and shaking from lust, he stopped. 

He….. stopped! I couldn’t believe it. There he had me, against my will, so hot I could barely stand, and when I finally was about to let go, to let him win, he just stopped. I blinked, disbelievingly, trying to comprehend what was happening as he pulled his fingers out of me, released my bosom, and quickly but efficiently rinsed the soap off. 

If I was mad before, I was in a pure fury now. I never let my lust steer my actions. I was always in control, always level-headed about what happened in the bedroom. And now, when I, for once, let my control slip, I was denied the reward. I could not believe it! I glared at him as he finished rinsing me and turned the water off.

When he’d put the shower head back into its proper place, he met my eyes, taking in my stiff-legged, furious stance in a quick glance. I defiantly stared back at him, took a deep breath; but before I managed to say anything, his hand snaked out and grabbed the ring in my collar. With a quick pull and twist he had me lying on my stomach the floor at his feet, blinking, wondering what the heck had just happened.
He went into a crouch next to me, took one of my arms and twisted it behind my back in a painful grip. The other he used to take a firm grip of my chin and bend my head up so that I had to look him in the face.

“You have no more say in anything. Anything we want to do with or to you, you will accept, without complaint. You will do as you are told, promptly, and to the best of your ability. I do not want to hear any arguments from you. Failure means punishment. Is that understood?” When I didn’t reply he twisted my arm higher until I cried out a “Yes!” “Yes, Sir is the correct answer. Try again.”

I quickly answered with a “Yes Sir” and was rewarded with getting my arm back in a more comfortable position. He, then, lifted me up to a standing position and dried me off with a soft towel. Finished with that, he grabbed the leash and slapped his left leg, saying “Heel”. I quickly obeyed, going down to kneel next to his left foot, being too tired and confused to offer any more resistance. He clipped the leash back on and led me back to the cage. Before closing and locking the door he put a bowl of water on the floor for me to drink from. He made sure I drank some before he left me alone in the room again, forcing me to stand on my fours and only using my mouth while drinking.

My first time

I got my first kiss at the age of 15.
I made out my first time at the age of 15.
I had sex for the first time at the age of 15.

When I was 15 there were only a few girls in my class who were popular among the boys, us others kept to ourselfs. I found my first boyfriend online and it was he who gave me my first of everything. The first night we met he kissed me, I gave my first blow job, we had sex (without condom sigh...), we even tried anal. Except for the time when he pretended to come (still without a condom...) I recall it as a rather nice first time. I do not, however, remember if it hurt. At least there were no blood. I wish I would have thought more often about my first time so the memory would have been clearer but I have done everything in my power to forget what he done to me and apparently I succeded all to well. 

Back to the loosing of my virginity. Naturally I had been exploring myself for a couple of years already but that night increased my knowledge of sex by a 100%. And naturally when bragging about it to my friends it increased my status among them. At least in the section jealousy I like to think. Now when I'm older and wiser... I still bragg about it! I mean, a blog just for my own sex life, jeez... 
Ahem. Honestly it's more the exhibitionistic side in me that made me create it. If someone likes what I write and get turned on by it, I feel I have succeded. Ok, getting side tracked once again.

Do I regrett having sex on the first night? No.
Do I regrett having it with him? No.
Do I regrett meeting him? Yes.
Now this may strike you as not compatible but as life goes on, I've learned that every little experience makes you who you are at the moment and right now I'm rather happy how I turned out to be. And you can always change who you are, it just takes a really long time. If I haden't met him I don't know when my first contact with sex with another person would have been, my qualified guess is when I hooked up with my second boyfriend, also known as my current play pal. However bad person the first boyfriend was he did teach me some things: Don't trust unconditionally. Don't let anyone physically threathen me. And leave immediately if someones say "I'll kill myself if you leave me." Despite that he was never a bad lover, we had fun in bed and I never felt forced into doing something I wasen't prepared to do. Many times I have wondered if I got talked into doing stuff that first night, seeing as I don't really have a vivid memory of it, but in the end I think it doesn't matter. When I think back about it I don't have any regretts or strange feelings about it and I'm not emotionally hurt so whatever we did, it was good. 

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Velcro

Boyfriend just got home with thin, long, doublesided velcro (kardborreband for you swedish without a dictionary close by)!

Amazingly enough he tried to tie my hands together, but just as an experiment not a sexual invitation. Boo-ooring. On the plus side he put the sticky side, the hooks, on the inside and told me to try and pull my hands apart. I failed of course, velcro is really good at keeping stuff together, but I got some nice tiny dots around my wrists wich I happily inspected.

And yes I got a bit turned on. And yes I really need to try this velcro buisness out.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Just thinking about sundays fun get's me all wet.

Unexpected fun time!

Yesterday was spent together with my play pal!

Today has been spent moaning everytime my breasts touched something, everytime I bent my neck and everytime I used my leg muscles. Happy, happy me!

I was lucky enough to get together with my play pal  yesterday and he took me for a ride in Pain-land again.
It started out rather calm by him ordering me to remove my clothes while he was looking at me. Sweater, top, trousers. Paus for inspection. Bra and panties. Paus for inspection. And then Wham! When I wasen't prepared he took a firm grip of both my nipples and brutally dragged me forward. I cried out and stumbled closer to him. After being placed in the center of the room he continued to play and pinch my nipples, just a bit harder than what's comfortable. After a while he got his bag of ropes and pulled one out and put it around my chest, and then another one but this one above my breasts. Tied my hands on my back to the rope and took a step back to admire his work. More pinching, squeezing and slapping of breasts proceeded. 

It was decided beforehand to not be any fucking involved this time so instead he could do whatever he wanted with the rest of my body (nothing new there really). He's got his mind set on teaching me to take it deep-throat so we did that alot cause I'm not very good at it yet. When he got bored of my gagging reflex he took it out on my breasts. 

At one point I was hogtied with my head hanging outside of the table I was lying on and forced to suck and take his cock as far in as I could. I fought desperatly against my own panic, sometimes succeding and sometimes panicking. But dammit, I really want to be able to do it! So most of the time I got myself together, swallowed the saliva and opened my mouth again. In the end when I couldn't stand it anymore and refused to open my mouth he slapped me in the face - and let me tell you this, it hurts in a most unpleasant way! Feels like the brain shakes and the entire cranium hurts. Effective and scary. I opened my mouth once again.

Later I was turned around on my back and head still hanging outside of the table. I recommend this position to be able to really do deep-throath, at least for a beginner like me. For the first time ever his cock slid all the way in and there was nothing stopping it! Totally amazed I could only stare straight ahead and didn't notice I should be gagging. It was awesome. Sadly the other times he did it I felt it oh so much more and couldn't stop the panic. But I'll be hoping for that pose again!
Every time he withdrew from my mouth and I tried to gather myself he liked to take the drool I produced, you know the thick kind that hangs from dick to mouth in every deep-throath-movie, and smear it into my face. I really disliked that! His sadistic laughter as he did it ensured me that I won't manage to get away from that in the future either.
Combined with the drool my eyes were always filled with tears, both from the tension in my throat and actual crying, my make-up were smudged (wich was the true reason I even used makeup that day) and I have photo proof that I looked god damn sexy like that! I especially love that you can see both pain and lust in my eyes.

Lying on my side, still hogtied and with a clothespin on my left nipple. Only on my left nipple. Because he knew it would make it more frustrating to get the pain asymmetrical. He was extremely correct. It hurt so incredible much I lost control over what I said and did. My body wriggled and squirmed, I could hear myself saying "Please, please" over and over until he removed it. Begging for mercy without a conscious decision to do so was...interesting. But so was the pain and I think that in the end I started to enjoy the other feelings that came alongside the pain. Or was that perhaps when he focused on my right nipple? Everything is a blur of pain and it's really hard to separate the different events.

He tried to do hair bondage on me but it failed. Don't know if my hair was to short or if it was to glossy but the rope slipped off as soon he pulled on it. But hey no worries, he could still take all my hair in one hand and painfully drag my head back to the edge of what's possible! Feeling the pull in my scalp, not being able to look back down/up again while getting mouth-fucked was arousing. And painful, never forget painful! As we ended the session he had me sitting on my knees, hands still on my back, and placed a rope between my lips and tied it to the rope on my back getting the same effect as the hair pulling. He then had my upper body, my pussy and thighs exposed wich he really enjoyed with a whip in his hand. That position rendered me tiny purple dots of bruises on my breasts and a thick upper lip from the rope. When I wasen't biting the rope in my eagerness to withstand the pain I screamed through the rope, oh so I screamed...

Monday, October 19, 2009

Family dreams

Sitting on the floor, leaning against the sofa, watching TV. My boyfriends cousin enters the room and stops for a moment, looking at me and my position. He comes up to me, leans in and grabs ahold of my neck in a firm grip and pushes my head backwards until it is resting on the sofa. 
"You like this don't you? I know you do, I can see it in your eyes and your movement. No need to deny it."
Almost out of breath I mumble something while nodding slowly, helplessly caught in his commanding eyes. He loosens his grip and I quickly draw in some more air before he once again shuts me off.
"I know how you want to be treated, I can read you like an open book even when you are surrounded by people who knows nothing of this."
Once again I am allowed a quick breath. Inside me something is brewing, my body is heavy and I got a tingling feeling between my legs. Even though he only holds one hand on me I'm incapable of moving. 
"Do you want me to treat you the way you deserv?" 
He let's go off me and stands up, tall and slim with blond hair. At first I'm only breathing and enjoying the fresh air. Then I position myself on my knees, hands on thighs and eyes on his feet and proclaims:
"Please do master."

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Tree-hugger

Today I decided to take a walk in the forest.

As I walked past the trees I got to thinking about their bark.
"It's very rough. If I were to press my breasts against it I'm sure it would hurt in a most pleasurable way."
It was only that short thought that crossed my mind and I never thought about fulfilling it. Happily I walked onwards.


However, on the way home the sun had set and the forest were rather dark and the same thought crossed my mind again. But this time I realized the possibility I had to live it out. I suddenly stopped and stared around me. Took another look around me. Found a suitable tree right in front of me. Glared, stared and watched the forest around me, carefully making sure I was totally alone. When certain I slowly proceeded to pull my top up, including my bra, and exposing my breasts to the cold fall air. Wonderfull.

I pressed my body against the lean tree, placed my breasts on either side of the trunk and enjoyed the feeling. It was way more intense than I had expected it to be. Unable to think sensible I pressed myself harder against the tree, with my legs on either side I angled my lower body so that my pussy would come in contact with the tree. The tree gave excellent stimulation and I stayed there for a few moments just enjoying the moment. Lustfully sighing and picturing myself naked and in the same position with a whipping incoming. 

Twice before I've had sex out in the forest, both with my current boyfriend. Both times we were out running together and got overwhelmed with hornyness.

First time we found a really romantic place filled with moss. It was many years ago so forgive me for not remembering the details. I do know he whipped me with birch while I was lying on a big rock. Also remember getting sperm on my pants...

Second time was like the first one except the birch. We had to stop in the middle of running, find a secluded spot in the forest and fuck. Equally awesome. Sperm on my pants this time too..

I'm not overly exhibitionistic but I seem to enjoy having sex in the nature when I know I'm alone. There is something very special about feeling the air caressing your body and natures calm approval of who you are.
Maybe next year I'll rent a small cottage, invite a couple of well selected friends and really enjoy the nature.