When I was 15 years old I meet my first boyfriend online. We started visiting each other and stayed together for 10 months. Since he turned out to be a true idiot this post wont be about him. It will be about my next boyfriend who I met during that time.
Even during my first relationship I had contact with him and I remember us spending some nights together on the phone, talking dirty and revealing naughty secrets to each other (no I had no respect for normal boundries within a relationship back then either). This was in the time when I first started discovering the kinky side of me (Hm, I'll make another post about my bdsm-discovery later I think) and it developed even more with him. It was all very exciting and forbidden. Ok no, I lied there. I never felt like I was doing something forbidden. How strangely it may sound I always had the point of view that if it doesnt hurt another being, then all is ok. Getting side tracked here.
So, after the breakup with my first boyfriend I soon found myself together with my second boyfriend. We weren't a perfect match as far as love goes, I see that now. But we shared a common interest in sex, bdsm. We explored and had fun. Of course, back then we were two kids playing around without much experience and few homemade toys (got my first dildo at 18...from my own sister!). We had the standard clothespin and leather belts that we had lots of fun with. After three months he broke up with me (cry, cry, sob) and we moved our separate ways.
One year later (and this I'll write because it's a very fond memory) we met yet again on a sumer party. We hugged, happy to see each other and he gave me a kiss on the forehead. I quitley asked him to not do that unless it meant something, his kiss actually reminded me of the pain when he broke up with me. He didn't say a thing, just kissed me on the forehead again. We spent the rest of the evening making out. I would like to call that evening one of my best actually. We even discussed meeting again for some kinky sex (at that time I had been alone for a year with a newly awoken interest in bdsm so I was quite frustrated) but it never made it from plans to reality. I don't know why, think I'll ask him soon. Maybe he thought I wouldn't be able to handle a sex relationship (could be correct) or maybe he only wanted to make out for the evening. Sadly I went home to my place, he went to his and we didn't meet again for a long time I think.
In the fall of 2007 we stumbled across each other on Facebook and started chatting. He then uttered the words "I wouldn't hesitate one sec to tie you up again" wich led us upon the path we are on now. I travelled to his city in some work related education and we got a chance to see if we still worked together. From the moment we hugged at the train station I was horny. Nothing happened that time, we ate, played and watched movies and I had to control myself not to beg him to hurt me. I doubt his boyfriend would have been very happy if I did that. I think it took somewhat closer to six months before another chance to meet occured. I visited him for some days and it was wonderful! He was skilled, brutal and good with ropes. My strongest memory of the visit was when he tied me on my back to a table, arms and legs spread, and put really big clamps on my nipples. He then sat and watched me squirm and moan for some time. I can't express how incredible horny I was. My mind were lustfully floating somewhere in happy place and my body was yearning for more-more-more. And just when I thougt the feeling (read pain) couldn't get more intense he removed the clamps and brutally squeezed my breasts. Intense pain mixed with intense pleasure. I screamed. I wriggled. I looked into his eyes and there were no comfort. Dear god I want to experience that again.
Since then we met a few times more, each and every visit more painfull than the other. I think I might even have reached my limit. This weeked it is time for another visit. It may not be the main reason why Im going but I do hope that we can find time to play with each other.
Somewhere along the road he went from being my ex-boyfriend to being my friend who beats me up at times. I am so happy that we met again. Or else I would be a very frustrated Porrtroll.
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