Back in buisness? Let's hope!

Tonight I felt lust for the first time in a, for me, rather long time! I don't know what happened before today but I got a theory that it's closely connected to my period. Now I'm approaching the horny period of my cycle so I'll be having fun again!

Boyfriend gave me a really strong orgasm this evening. I had just gotten out of the shower, wich is a really god time to get down on me as I don't worry about smelling or being unfresh, when suddenly he was behind me and clearly onto something. First there were stroking of my breasts and nipples, and he knows how to handle them by now, it's a very delicate process. Can't go out to fast or hard because that takes away some of my hornyness. Apply the correct pressure and move slowly, treat my breasts good and you'll have a real treat in watching me endlessly moan and wriggle. So after the correct pressure had been applied and he got my breath all deep and fast he carefully pushed me down onto the bed and kissed me slowly down my chest, over my stomach and ended up on my pussy. My lips were still closed and with my pubic hair as a protective barrier it felt great! Also a matter of moving at the right speed and not aiming straight for the clit. Extremely lightly he placed his tongue at the bottom of my pussy and dragged it all the way to the top. It was awesome! Remember that, don't go straight for the goods, tease and you will please!

With one finger up my anal, more fingers inside my pussy and my own fingers on the clit I came, long and hard. And for once I was totally quiet. I also stopped breathing during the orgasm. It was intense.
I wonder why I stop breathing when the sensations are strong. It's not only during orgasm I do that. Happens alot during oral sex. Normally I'm not very good at holding my breath but when it happens if I'm horny I hold it and don't even notice I'm lacking oxygen. I always think that one day I should take time but that makes me focus on the air and so I notice the lack of oxygen wich fails the try.

So, with my lust somewhat restored I'm hoping I will be able to wrap up my review of my toys, get back into masturbating and being the horny girl I truly am.

True Blood

I've begun following the rather new tw-show True Blood that's being aired on swedish television since 26th of august.

I'm sure it comes as no big surprise that I'm totally hooked. I mean, have you seen the multitude of sex scenes? And it's not sweet love we're talking, it's hardcore with the fresh smell of blood. If it was the real world, and I was living it, I would definately go for a vampire. But preferably not one that kills humans!

Aside from being a really god tv-show that I really look forward to follow it portraits sex in a way american TV normally don't dare. It's dark and brutal, and we get some really nice shots of naked people having sex. And all those scenes with bare necks followed by fangs, makes me bone shiver with lust!

I remember one scen with bare neck from todays episodes. Sookie comes looking for Bill in his house but is met by three other vampires by the door. She get's invited by Bill but it doesn't seem like he's willing to control his "friends". Eventually all three of them are circling her, smelling her, longing for her virginity. The male vampire behind her grabes her head and pushes it to the side, exposing her neck in a most erotic way. For them it's dinner. Imagine her, a young innocent woman standing in the middle of three hungry and lustfilled vampires. His hand with a tight grip on her head, her neck so pale and tempting. Yum yum.

A little bit of wisdom on the way to death

"I don't believe in 'body flaws. To believe in them, you have to believe in one single ideal body, and I emphatically do not! I know what I am supposed to look like -- I'm supposed to look like me. And since no one can look more like me than me, I'm as close to perfect as it gets. I don't need to look like anyone else OR any other version of myself. I don't have flaws -- and neither do you. What we have are differences, and they are what make us beautiful, what make us unique, what make us who we are."


http://belenen.deviantart.com/

Tonights dream

I had this awesome, hot, steamy sex dream tonight. Wich I of course remember only a few vague details. Every time this happens it bums me out. I want to remember it clearly! To know why I woke up in the middle of the night feeling horny.

It involved me and my play pal's boyfriend. The boyfriend is an übercute, tall boy with dark eyes and no bdsm-interest what so ever. Luckily that didn't stop my dream from making him act very kinky.

However, all I can recall  is me being very horny, him being very horny and fucked by a dildo-machine while I lustfully watched it.

I'm having a bit of a low period right now, I'm not even masturbating. But I can tell you this, since I created my blog my ratio of sex dreams has increased a lot. Probably had more sex dreams this year than I've had all my life before. Dreams gives me the same intense feelings as a well performed bdsm-session does and I love those feelings!

Building theories

While driving home this Friday I wondered and pondered why I didn't feel submissive to the guy. He was longer than me, had a bigger body, his hands were very strong and big and he could clearly win over me in a wrestling fight. All those things are signals for me to get turned on. But for some reason it didn't do it for me this time. It was more like I felt superior to him, during sex but also outside the sex. He mostly reminded me of a young boy in need of guidance and I'm not one of the girls that fall for that.

So I thought to myself; who of my partners have made me feel truly submissive? I came up with The Musician and  My Play Pal. And what is different about them, what do they have that no one else I've been with have? Of course there's experience but I also stumbled across another piece of information: How they treat me between our sessions.

They are both very busy boys, they live a full life with work, school, friends and everything else. Seeing as I have much more time on my hands I am horny more often than they are, leaving me in the dependant situation. It's me who asks them if they have the time to play. I try to be casual and sweet but I can't help to feel I'm nagging a bit. I'm not sure this has any relevance at all as to why they are better doms than anyone else, but it sure does feel like the power is with them even outside our sessions. With the other boys we are more equal or maybe even I'm the one in control. This theory of mine is a bit unsetteling as I am a very firm believer in having the control of myself outside the sessions. If the theory is correct, that I only enjoy dominants guys that keep me at distance when not playing, then I will never be able to live with my future master, having a normal relationship with him.

Maybe I'm just being silly and the answer is much more simple. I've just ran into those kind of doms but there are a lot of other ones out there, ones that won't keep me at a distance when we're not playing. But do I really want it like that? Maybe I've grown to accustomed to the inferior role and won't understand another situation even if it bites me in the arse.

His tongue was pierced

So, my date this friday.

I've been busting my brain all weekend trying to come up with a good text about it but the "flow" won't come to me so I'll just spit it out.

It was good, but nothing extraordinary at all. We were both equally big cat lovers and players but the connection stopped there. In fact, if the sex wouldn't have happened I don't think I would have missed it at all. It was just plain rough sex. Not entirely sure why I went along with it cause I didn't feel submissive at all. And I know he was a newbie and all but I can't gather the motivation to be his test dummy to try out his newfound kinkyness on. I wan't someone experienced, the days of trying and getting halfway there is over. I no longer wish to play the role of the submissive one, I need to feel it, to be it.

So, you ask, why did you have sex with him?

Well, to tell the truth I just kinda went along with it. He started out perfect, stroking my neck and grabbing my hair and I did like that, but then all we did as foreplay was kissing, alot. And then some more kissing. I don't know about you but kisses is kinda boring after the first five. His tongue piercing gave the kisses a vague taste of metal, nothing disturbing but it was there. After we started on the foreplay I kinda figured I could still stop him whenever I felt like it but as usual I never took the decision to stop him (I am such an indecisive girl) and suddenly I was naked from the waiste down and had his tongue on my pussy. And finally I got some payment for my one hour car trip! He was good at it, and he sure knew where my g-spot was! With a little bit of change in speed I'm sure he could have made me come without me helping myself. Anyway, that was the highlight of the sex seeing as his penetration was below average and I could barely make myself enjoy it, in fact it actually hurt at times but bah, he was soon done so I was out of that trouble. Eventually I made myself come, stroking my pussy and his fingers inside it. And that was it, no cuddle or sweet words. We got up and ate. I'm not saying I need sweet words, but a little time to rest and catch my breath after the orgasm is nice! After the food, the movie and some chitt-chatt I went back home, another hour spent in the car, and comforted myself with some good food and an episode of Smallville. I quickly decided not to meet him again but before I could muster up the courage to say it several days passed all while he was asking and nagging when we would see each other again.

Conclusion: It's silly of me to regrett something that already happen so I won't do that. The oral was nice, the rest was ok. But I require awesomeness. Therefore I will file this under one-night-stands and never look back! Also I better learn something from this...hm...something...never have sex with a boy whose floor is a total mess!

Porrtrollet makes another notch in her bedpost...

Caged, part 1

I stumbled a couple of lovely novells this morning and with the authors permission I'm posting them here. If you're scandinavian go to DarkSide and visit Mita, she's the one who created these masterpieces:

I slowly awakened in total darkness, curled in the foetal position on a big blanket. What had happened, and where was I? I couldn’t remember much from last night, except that the last drink had tasted a bit funny...

This wasn’t my bedroom. Come to think about it, not even a bedroom, I found out as I cautiously tried to uncurl myself and hit walls. No, not walls, metal bars. Cold, hard, metal bars, with thick soft cloth on the outside. I felt the panic starting to rise, fuelled by fear. And what was that around my neck? My hands flew up to my neck, finding a thin leather collar with a metal ring attached at the front. As quickly as I could I undid the clasp and threw the collar away from me; it hit the bars with a clang. Apart from that, the only sound I could hear was my own rapid breathing.

Suddenly there was a new sound in my world of darkness. A rhythmic thumping, made of hard heels on a wooden floor, coming closer. The footsteps stopped. “Ah, so we are finally awake?” It was a deep, manly voice, sounding slightly amused. “Let me introduce myself” The sudden bright light on the other side of the cage made me blink; the man had lifted one side of the cloth covering my cage. “I, he said as he peered at me, covering in the furthest corner, am your new Master, and you are my new Toy. Since I’ve paid quite a lot of money for you, I expect that you’ll perform well and show me what a good little slave you are. Now, come out and greet your Master”. He opened the door and took a step back. I didn’t move, just watched him intensively. He raised an eyebrow; “I said, come here, NOW”. I shook my head. “You’re not my master. You’re not my anything. I’m a free woman and you’d better let me go, now! I said, defiantly. His other eyebrow joined the first one. “You know, you’re just making it more difficult for yourself”, he said as he started to peel the fabric off the top of the cage. I tensed, watching him closely; he didn’t seem to pay too much attention to me, intent on his task of moving the heavy cloth. When he had reached the other end of the cage, I made a dash for the opening.

Just as I was fully out of the cage, he pounced on me, and we fell heavily to the floor, wrestling. I did my best, trying to escape him, but he was too strong and well trained for my efforts to last, and before very long I found myself lying on my stomach, breathing heavily, my hands effectively and somewhat painfully pinned behind my back where he was sitting. “So, he said as I felt him shift on top of me, you want to do this the hard way, eh? Fine with me” I heard metal clinking, and cold metal suddenly encased my wrists. “On your knees!” He got of me and took a firm hold of my hair to pull me up. “I haven’t had the opportunity to break a new slave in for quite a while. I am going to enjoy this! He bent his head close to my ear and whispered; “Thoroughly…”

“What’s this, the bitch has taken her collar off? I see I will have to teach you never to take anything off that I put on you without my expressive permission! Now, for your own good, don’t move” He let go of me, sullenly sitting on my knees with my hands handcuffed behind my back, went to retrieve the collar, and put it around my neck, making sure it was sitting tight. “There, much better, don’t you agree?” He tilted my head up and stroked a finger along my jaw line, ignoring the hate in my eyes. As he came close to my mouth I tried to bite his fingers; he quickly snatched his hand away. “Feisty little minx!” Smack! He cuffed me across the face. “That is NOT the way to treat your Master!” The hit was hard enough and unexpected enough to fell me to the floor. As I tried to get over the chock he quickly went to a nearby table to pick something up, then straddled me where I was lying, helpless, on the floor, and roughly strapped a gag on my head.

He then grabbed my hair and pulled me up on my feet, using the hair as a handle to pull my face close to his and hissed; “You obviously have A LOT to learn. I’d better make you unable to get yourself into trouble, until you’ve learnt who your Master is. I guess I just have to leash you like the ill-mannered bitch you are” as he said this he clipped a leash unto my collar and started to drag me across the room towards some kind of metal construction, almost like a freestanding doorway, with loops and rings on it in strategic places. I tried to dig my heels in, but the combination of him pulling on the leash connected to my neck, and an encouraging slap with a riding crop he’d kept in his riding boots kept me moving.

At the doorway he tossed my leash over the top, and pulled on it until I had to stand on tiptoe, or hang from the collar, and there he made it fast. He then walked around me, letting the crop caress and poke, sliding up along the legs, up the skirt and lifting it to better his view. I couldn’t defend myself against his intrusion, focused as I had to be to stay and hold my balance on my toes. Quite quickly he tired of the game and decided that he wanted to inspect his new toy more thoroughly. He picked up a knife, and, after letting the flat of the cold steel slowly, tauntingly, slide up my arm, sliced through my clothes, letting them fall off, one by one.

“Now, this is the way I like you; easily accessible for your Master at all times, should he so choose. Now, about your punishment…” Smack! Suddenly the crop hit my bare butt, making me jump and cry out from surprise and pain. He gave me a dozen lashes, letting his cruel whip spread stinging warmth across my buttocks. I tried to twist away, to escape, but to no avail; my leash didn’t give me much room to move. Apparently, even so, it wasn’t little enough to please my cruel captor; he stopped swinging the crop, letting it fall to the floor behind me, and stepped up close to me, pressing himself to my back, letting me feel his hardness and his hands slide up the front of my body, cupping themselves around my breasts, squeezing them, playing with the nipples until they hardened. “You know, I think something is missing; you don’t seem to find enough pleasure in your punishment. I’m going to add something extra to your friends here, and if you’ll be a good girl and stand still I’ll soon end your punishment. If not, well…” He released me and stepped away, coming around the frame after picking something up from the table and putting it in his pocket. He then first took my right breast in his hand, and started kissing his way over it, stopping at my nipple to lick, suck and nibble, first lightly, then harder as his hand massaged the breast, finally biting hard enough for me to gasp, quickly following it up by putting a nipple clamp on it, then stepping back to let me feel the pain blooming. “You like that, don’t you?” he said as he watched me trying to calm my breaths. Not giving me too much time to adjust to the new sensation, he repeated the procedure with the other breast and strode to the back of me again. “Now, remember, not too much squirming, or I’ll make it worse. Show me you can follow orders.” With that he started whipping me again, waiting in between the lashes for me to absorb the pain, watching me all the time with calculating eyes. I did my best to stand still, trying to breathe as deeply as I could, closing my eyes hard and fighting the tears. Even so, a tear leaked from underneath my eyelids and ran down my cheek. As soon as he saw that, he stopped.

He stuck the whip back down in his boot and came to stand in front of me. He reached out with a finger and caught my teardrop from my cheek, and looked at it, a look I couldn’t decipher on his face. He removed the nipple clamps and then the gag, all the time watching me closely. In a strangely soft voice he said; “I think that you have learnt today’s lesson. Wouldn’t you agree? Answer me.” I looked at him with large eyes, still having the occasional tremor going through my body from the pain of the punishment. “Yes”, I mumbled and looked down. Immediately there was a hint of steel in his voice and eyes, and he took my chin in a firm grip, raising my face to his. “I didn’t hear you. Try again.” I trembled, gazing into his eyes, not being able to look away. “Yes, Master” I whispered, defeated.

He looked into my eyes for a little while longer, and then, with a satisfied look in his eyes, released my chin. “Good Toy, that’s the way to answer your Master”. He unbound me from the steel construction and led me back to the cage. “I will take your handcuffs off and allow you to go into your cage to rest for a bit. I do not want to come back and find that you have taken your collar off again. Is that clear? You will _not_ like the result if you disobey me. Answer.” Again, I whispered “Yes Master”, looking at the cage that was to be my home. He uncuffed my hands and unclipped the leash, gestured for me to enter the cage and then locked it behind me, leaving it uncovered. As he walked out of the room, I once more curled, though this time very carefully, into a ball, trying not to cry. He was right. I had learnt my lesson. My body was sore and hurting and I felt very small and helpless. But I wasn’t broken. Just because I said what he wanted to hear and went where he pointed didn’t mean I actually meant it, that he was my “Master”. I did my best to tell myself that that small twitch of pleasure I had felt deep inside me when he praised me was really something else…

Iiiiih!

Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh!

I have a date this friday! I'm so excited, thrilled, nervous and so full of feelings that I can barely sit still!

But yet again I find myself with the question: What to wear?!

This is a new acquaintance to me and it shall be so much fun to see whats he's like IRL. So far our conversation has gone very smoothly and we are both quit horny after an evening of naughty chatting. I don't intend to do anything about my hornyness tonight though, why mastubate when I have the chance of good ol' sex in 36 hours.

He plays the same computer game as me and loves cats, I'd say he's a winner only based on that! And furthermore, I look forward to meeting him not only because of the sex but he seems like a nice fella, one I'd like to hang out with as a friend too.

A detailed resumé will appear after I've met him - is he a crazy psychopat or did I just have the sex of the year?

Also, I'm still trying out my LAYASpot and Lelo Lily (wich accidently broke after the first charge and I had to wait for the replacement) but a review is being planned, and if you all behave I might just go ahead and put some pictures on here where you can actually see my flesh!

Latex

Last night, just before I went to bed, I stumbled upon some youtube videos (the above one being one of them) of latex dressed woman and although I don't have a perticular fetisch for latex it apparently stuck to my head. This morning I woke up in the afterglow of a strong sex dream. No specific details remains complete in my memory but I do know I was staying with a master along with one or two other girls. We were all dressed in latex suits that covered the whole body and he liked to see us embarrassed so he had us go out in the public without us realizing it until we already were out in the open. He was a very gentle and good master, no punishment or pain were present int the dream - just the feeling of belonging to him. His calm dominance is what coloured the entire dream and I can't wait to belong to someone who will give me the same feeling in real life.

It's so incredible hard to describe the feeling of a dream, all I can say is that mine was oozing with lust, and a little bit of shame. Shame is always part of my hornyness. Not because I'm ashamed of my lust but because I get turned on by being ashamed/embarrassed/humiliated.

I stayed in bed for as long as the dream was vivid. Will be spending the day in quiet frustration.