The Math Teacher

I've decided to call the new playpal The Math Teacher. He's smart, generous, a sadist and a switch.

It's been present from the beginning of our relationship. The pain. We both enjoy it, cherish it and want more of it. We both curse at the other when being hurt but the second the pain stops we ask for more. We often laugh and joke about our lack of self-preservation but in truth, I don't think any of us feel as much alive as when the pain runs through our bodies. It's a kick. An addiction and we don't plan on quitting. Ever.

He wants me to hurt him. To use his body to inflict pain, to use him to arouse myself. And I do. I torture and torment his body in every way I can imagine, enjoying every minute of it, and he still asks me for more when I'm done. It's all very liberating and I've discovered that my sadistic side is stronger and more evil than I ever imagined.

I want him to hurt me. To use me. To make me scream and cry. To leave my body with red marks and an exhausted mind. And he does. He plays with my body and mind until I'm right where he wants me, and then he hurts me some more. I enjoy every minute of it. The fear, the pain, the acceptance and the intense feelings - all mixed together into bliss.

...in wich she finds a new play pal, breaks up with her boyfriend and considers moving to Stockholm

So yeah, the title says it all really. Me and my boyfriend has broken up. We've been together for 8 years roughly and living together for 5. We're not angry at each other, we do not hate each other, we're simply put still friends. And the caring and loving for each other is still there but more in the form of brother and sister-love. So we decided to make it official a month or two ago without to much of a fuss. There's nothing dirty about it at all, we just decided that it was time we went our separate ways. It does actually feel kinda nice, I feel strong and like I'm finally going somewhere in my life. All will be well in the end somehow.

Speaking of moving on with my life, I've applied to university in Stockholm and if I get accepted I'll be moving there. It's a big city compared to where I'm living now and there's people everywhere! I guess I'll get used to it eventually but for now it's a bit scary. Hopefully this will lead to education, a good job and a chance to be closer to my friends.

I didn't really waste any time after The Beast left, I licked my wounds and started hunting again. He didn't crush me by the way it all ended but he did leave some wounds. I think they're healed now, just some scar tissue left to handle. Soon after our breakup I realized that the man I've been mailing with back and forth during the summer was actually quit nice talking to, and his writing made me curious for more. So we met, it all went well and here I am, two months later, sitting in his apartment, wearing his clothes and writing on his computer.