Friday, February 27, 2009

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Time for the yearly bath

Decided to take a warm bath tonight, something I do roughly once every year. To my surprise my boyfriend wanted to join in so we squeezed his long body and my chubby body into one narrow tub. Wich makes for a lot of body contact, yay! We actually talked. About what gift to buy a friend, about food, about my trip, about dreams. It was so cozy, had a great time. Then he started touching my pussy, out of the blue. And it felt good, really good! Didn't go all the way to an orgasm but it could have. Still, I felt happy with what I got. Exactly what I wanted actually, felt very relaxed afterwards. In return I gave him a blow job. Didn't take long until I had my mouth full of semen. Yes I can swallow and no I didn't, it tastes horrible! And the consistency! Euw!
My bags are packed, my nerves are calm, studying a bit before going to bed. Somehow I need to sneak a couple of meters of rope into my bags, I missed doing it while I was alone. And I want the ropes with me. I want to see his face when I pull them up and he realizes what I could do with them. Or what he could do with them for that matter. I keep trying to plan the moment when it will happen but I cant be sure how or when or even if it will happen. Just wish.

Ropes

I washed my ropes last night, felt it was needed since they hopefully will be used on someone else than me for a change. They looked like before, no loose threads or anything. Will work nicely to tie hands together...
Picture found at god knows where.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Dominatrix

She is standing up, looking very tall. You are sitting on your knees next to her. She is looking straight forward, her eyes are shifty as she cant decide what to think about. Your eyes are looking up on her, begging. Her arm moves, she is lifting her hand and placing it on the top of your head. Slowly she caresses your hair. You take a deep breath and relax.

My Italian boy

I will be going away for a week soon, meeting my italian boy. Im nervous, mostly for the trip but also about what will happen when I arrive. Will the sexual tension stay with us, carrying through the webcam and onto RL? Or will it be very awkward and will we spend a week in boredom and unformfortableness? I dont know, I cant tell. The odds are that the sexual tension will grow and we will be unable to stop ourselfs, as if we wanted to. My biggest concern is the physical chemistry. Will he like my body? Will I like his body? What if one does and the other doesn't. He seems very sure, wich we had some arguments about. I dont want him to act like it's guaranteed we'll have sex. Because that raises expectations. And I dont like nor do I perform well under expectations. In fact it could ruin my lust. So I made him stop acting like that.
If we do end up in bed I am really looking forward to the slow "dance" towards it. He better not rush straight ahead! Hopefully we are both shy enough to take small steps towards the final moment. The moment where you know this will end in sex but you are still not quite there. The sweet sensation, the thrill. I live and feed of these moments.

It's a interesting journey we did, me and my italian boy. Started out during the late sumer/fall. Played a lot together. And I do mean alot, several hours a day. Of course we grew together, enjoyed each others company. He went away during fall, our playing hours got less. Then during the winter, at least I think so, his internet went back up in proper speed and we could play together again. This year we started chatting more and more even outside the game, chatting about serious stuff. Things we dont tell anyone and things we would rather not admitt to ourselfs. It was good meeting another being who shared my neurotic chain of thoughts. Suddenly we were at the point where our sexual jokes became to serious. All the hints and comments had to come clear. He told me about himself, I told him about me. This was when I started the blog. For a week we spent every night together, chatting, teasing and eventually showing ourselfs on the webcam. There were nudeness and there were orgasms. And in the spur of a moment we decided to meet. And here I am, packing my bags for a week of, hopefully, naughty, kinky, romantic sex. Yes I do hope for romantic vanilla sex. As I said, apparently I am a sucker for his italian words. Hearing how beautiful I am in italian while he looks at me with his sweet eyes and the expression of total admiration, yes I want that. Even if the only word I understand is Bella

Naughty

Today I have been feeling a bit naughty. I remember the illustrations I saw in the poem book in the library and together with the memory of yesterday when I was looking at House of Gords extreme pictures sums up to me feeling kinky. I havent done anything about it though I thought about bringing my italian boy to the webcam for some lovely orgasms together. It didn't happen. Mabye tomorrow, I finally got my webcam.

I do long for a orgasm. How did evolution ever evolve a orgasm? I am so gratefull that it did!



Naughty stories

I went to the library today.

The first book I layed eyes on was a poem collection - about the sex. I promptly looked through the book and found some very kinky illustration. I tell you, our society has nothing against old culture in terms of what you can paint. Should have borrowed it and scanned the pics...

Next book I lay my eyes on is a similar poem collection, but about the blood. Didnt find any kinky illustrations in there so I lost interest.

Third book was also about sex, but more towards the funnier aspects. Short storys or hearsay brought through time verbally. Also with naughty, old style, illustrations. When you are extremely bored with todays barbie looking porn, old fashion porn really tingles your senses.

After that my eyes finally landed on the fantasy section of the library and I started drooling over dragons and magics.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

If I were a lesbian (or in other ways had sex with woman)...

...I would learn how to lick pussy like a godess.

I would want to bring every girl the same pleasure my sumer crush gave me. I knew it was good already before but what he did was beyond anything I felt. It was paradise combined with heaven and a big chunk of nirvana.

I have no idea what his technique was nor do I have the slightest clue on how to do it if a pussy appeared. But the will is there! Will doesnt cover for lacking technique though so I could use a volunteer.

Please sign up here!

My summer crush

I didnt have my teenage summer crush at sweet 16. I had it at 23. A bit late but oh so much sweeter. And hotter.

It all started with the help of a online game we both were playing alot. We were playing buddys, we grew our friendship, it seemed very strong and we were both appreciating and hoping it would last for ever. And then came the day we meet.

I went to Gothenburg, by air plane, an adventure by itself, to meet an old friend. There I hooked up with a couple of other friends from the same online game and the sumer crush. The four of us had dinner, got to know each other and I think I hade the most wonderful night with friends I ever had.

Me and my sumer crush, had decided to go to a entertainment park the next day. Thanks to my fot being messed up we spent most of our time slowly walking around or sitting on benches eating cotton candy. When afternoon came we went to his hotel for a little break, at least that was the official excuse. We talked for hours and hours, lying on his bed, queen size mind you, slowly slowly moving closer to each other. Our bodys were literally screaming for some contact but we were a bit to hesitant to acknowledge that at once. This foreplay went on for roughly 5-6 hours before he happened to stumble across my weak spot. He just softly touched me and I fell. Damn I fell so hard I could hear the bang. After that it was no turning back. Another 5-6 hours later we fell asleep, exhausted. I took his virginity in so many ways except the normal one. I am a bit impressed by myself, all the things I showed him that could be done. Yes, proud and happy.

We stuck together for the next 3 months and time moved so slowy when we weren't together. Now when I look back I find myself thinking that 3 months isen't a very long time at all. But while it was lasting, every day at home were painfull. Yes, it was a full blown crush. And of course everything came crashing down on us eventually, as intensive feelings tend to do. We seem to still be friends, but there is a large distance. It sadens me because I really miss what we had, but at the same time Im content. I dont have a crush on him anymore. Im happy the way things are. With that said, I would gladly pay the trip to see him again if he called for me. As I said, my sumer crush was really hot.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Ciao

My italian boy, #7, has started using the word ciao whenever we say our goodbyes or hellos. And every time I hear it I transform into a giggling teenager who has a huge crush on the hot tempered italian. It's a bit far from the truth, I never condsidered myself having a weak spot for romantic stuff and he isen't hot tempered but still. Something says click and whirr inside me when I hear him speak italian. Im becoming more and more like my mum...

It has been decided that I shall go visit him in Germany soon. Very soon. Im rather nervous and freaked out a bit too. We are both a bit neurotic so we can understand each other. But it's not he who has to travel all day, I never flewn abroad before, and being left alone in a whole new country! Really scary when I think about it now. Everythings is so much clearer when Im horny. His words can turn me on so much and I cant wait to spend a full week, cuddling and fucking.

I mourn the loss of something I never had, his tongue on my pussy. I know he will want this and question me about it. But one week of pleasure is not worth getting a disease for the rest of my life. I want to live life, not shorten it!
I will be strong. It's my body. No matter how horny it is.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Sleepyhead

I've had several wonderful late nights in a row now. Wich is starting to take it's toll on me, being sleepy for an entire day is rather interesting. But when night falls and everyone else is sleeping I find myself hoping for another night of conversations, another night where I can feel relaxed, horny and very happy that this person likes me in return.

He used his webcam last night, it was lovely! I got to see his expressions while we were talking and seeing his emotions run across his face when we crossed the line into naughtyness was awesome, I am very gratefull.

With that I need to get myself a webcam set up. Apparently Im a sucker for attention and having him drool at my webcam image instead of a picture will be so, so sweet.

I feel a little bad about yesterday though. It was obvious he wanted to go further and I failed him, I couldnt pass the line entirely. I wasen't sure if I should even go there or what I should do if I went there. My imagination failed me so I couldn't give him what he needed.

Also darnit, he is starting to look to cute! I hope it was all due to the fact it was really late when I saw him in the webcam. His friendship is the most important feature to me, I want to keep it like that. And also, I got a small rush of hornyness when I saw him. Surprised me. And oh my how proud he will be when I tell him!

The names


I dont understand this thing with name calling during BDSM sessions. What good will calling my sub a "worthlesspiece of shit" do? How can I get my sub to trust me if I keep telling him his cock isen't good enough for a fuck. Why would I want to crush his self esteem in order to properly torment him.
I prefer other words. Calling the boy a toy will make him feel insignificant, and reassuring he knows I'm the one who should get pleased. Calling him a pet will also reduce him to nothing more than a thing, there for my amusement. Telling him his cock is big and how much I'd like to fuck him just to turn around and walk away, letting him know he will never get to choose when his cock is going to be used. Calling him a good boy will make him very proud, calling him bad will make him feel ashamed.
What kind of dom are you if you cant get a sub to submitt without using "disgusting worm" as a weapon. And why oh why would you keep on screaming and allowing your bad mood to hit him harder than necessary.There is no trust in that in my honest opinion. And trust is the most important thing when you are about to hit him with the whip that will surely make him scream.
Boys do make good pets. And I care for my pets. Add love and trust and they are yours for ever.

Picture found at god knows where.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

My sexography

Then again, if I were to count the numbers of people I played around with on the internet/webcam/phone I'd raise that number a great deal.

#1 was many many years ago, a guy I hooked up with on the internet and then ended up talking with on the phone. He wanted me to be dom but I was young and only sub at that time so I got an orgasm while he was being dom.

#2 and 4-7 is guys I've hooked up with while playing different online games and ended up getting orgasms from.

#2 I were friends with for a while, then suddenly we ended up in playtime and spent quite a few weeks chatting late and being very dirty. He was good fun, we lost contact now though.

#3 was a couple I spoke with for a longer while, we almost made plans to meet and see what happened but it never got anywhere. One night I was really drunk and decided to show off my body on webcam, they liked to watch.

#4 was only chatt, a real dom, a good one. He made me earn the right to call him Sir. He knows me very well and are able to tell me things I didn't even realize.

#5 I played with on the webcam and mic, vanilla bdsm. We still play the game together but nothing more is happening in the sex apartment.

#6 was one night, a short thing, brought up by alcohol and some earlier conversations in that direction.

#7 is a close friend who happened to like me as a dom. I am so very thankfull and happy that I get to show him this world of mine.

I think that was all, of course I've had many more sex chatts with random strangers but they just didn't stick and so they arent qualified for this list.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Picture


The woman is way to skinny, not attractive at all to me, and the fact that he's licking her isen't what turns me out. I was totally neutral to the picture until I scrolled down the whole way and saw that there was a hand in her mouth.
I went from a bit bored to submissive in the blink of an eye.











My sexography

I've had 4 sexpartners.

#1 was my first boyfriend. He took my virginity, it was also he who gave me my first kiss, my first petting, first anal, my first anything really. I was a total noob on sex of any kind back then. It took me 10 months to realize he was a scumbag and it took years before I stopped being afraid of him. But the sex was good.

#2 was my second boyfriend. It was with him I started exploring bdsm. Sex was good, exploring was good, our personal chemistry sucked though. We lost contact but now we're back at friends stage. A friend who occasionally ties me up, beats me and uses me for his own pleasures. Gotta love a friend who gives you what you need.

#3 is my current boyfriend. We've been together for 6 years now, lived together for roughly 3 years. Sex used to be good but lately it has started to degenerate down to once a month. Yes that sucks. Bad.

#4 was my sumer crush. We were online friends for a long time without crossing that border into sex. Then the chance came to meet each other, we both jumped of joy of course. Before we meet I asked the rather fateful question if he ever thought of me as something else than a good friend. He answered yes. After that it went downhill into sex of an awesome kind but also ruined feelings. I could be prouder of some of my actions, but I will never ever regret having him as a sexpartner. I name him the God of Licking a Woman.

So, that's all. A very short list. Im disappointed. Next after getting myself a job I like is the need for more sexual experience. Im glad I have a open relationship that allows me to take a chance if I see it.

Planned sex

Since me and boyfriend have had some trouble finding the time to actually have sex, not just thinking about it we actually planned to have sex today. Wich can seem a bit strange and it actually was. I've been horny for some weeks now but today I didnt feel the urge. The act could have been hotter, it could have been less clumsy. I was probably the only one feeling like that though, I get really stressed out by knowing I have to have sex.
But nevertheless, after two orgasms for me and one for him we have had our planned sex.

I recently stopped eating the birthcontrol pills due to some medical issues so we are doing the whole condom thing now, wich made me really nervous. "What if it breaks, my pubic hair is really short and sharp now, is it possible for pubic hair to breake a condom?"
I actually had to inflate it to make sure no nasty sperms had gotten through.

Conclusion: I wont try and plan sex again. I dont do good with planned sex, it never turns me on as much as I would like.

Dominatrix

Kneeling on the floor you are a bit cold and uncomfortable but it doesnt really matter. You are listening carefully as she walks around you, your eyes closed on command. Her heels are making a very distinct sound every times she moves and you cant help but shiver. She has a crop in her hand and every now and then she touches your body with it. Your shoulders, your back, your neck and your nipples, they all get a light touch from the croup making you tremble every time it touches. After completing several laps around you, thoroughly inspecting you, she comes to a stop in front of you. With the crop she makes you spread your legs enough for her to place one foot on the floor in between your thighs. Her hand grabes a firm hold on your chin, almost hurtfully firm. She leans in and whispers in your ear "Such a sweet toy."

Dominatrix

She's stood in front of you, your eyes meeting. Her dark blue with a hint of cold in them. Your green eyes slightly nervous. She suddenly smiles, reaches out and places her right hand on your shoulder. You feel the weight of her hand pressing you down as she whispers "Down boy".
And as you slowly descend to the floor you give in to her. Your will is hers. Your mind is only there to please her. You smile and let out a sigh. Your place is here and you feel at peace.

Welcome!

Welcome!

It is my intention to fill this blog with my dreams and storys about sex. There will be storys from my real life about the sex I occasionally have. Or it might just be a beautiful picture I found.

I hope to bring joy but Im happy with having a place where I can put my thoughts.