I will be going away for a week soon, meeting my italian boy. Im nervous, mostly for the trip but also about what will happen when I arrive. Will the sexual tension stay with us, carrying through the webcam and onto RL? Or will it be very awkward and will we spend a week in boredom and unformfortableness? I dont know, I cant tell. The odds are that the sexual tension will grow and we will be unable to stop ourselfs, as if we wanted to. My biggest concern is the physical chemistry. Will he like my body? Will I like his body? What if one does and the other doesn't. He seems very sure, wich we had some arguments about. I dont want him to act like it's guaranteed we'll have sex. Because that raises expectations. And I dont like nor do I perform well under expectations. In fact it could ruin my lust. So I made him stop acting like that.
If we do end up in bed I am really looking forward to the slow "dance" towards it. He better not rush straight ahead! Hopefully we are both shy enough to take small steps towards the final moment. The moment where you know this will end in sex but you are still not quite there. The sweet sensation, the thrill. I live and feed of these moments.
It's a interesting journey we did, me and my italian boy. Started out during the late sumer/fall. Played a lot together. And I do mean alot, several hours a day. Of course we grew together, enjoyed each others company. He went away during fall, our playing hours got less. Then during the winter, at least I think so, his internet went back up in proper speed and we could play together again. This year we started chatting more and more even outside the game, chatting about serious stuff. Things we dont tell anyone and things we would rather not admitt to ourselfs. It was good meeting another being who shared my neurotic chain of thoughts. Suddenly we were at the point where our sexual jokes became to serious. All the hints and comments had to come clear. He told me about himself, I told him about me. This was when I started the blog. For a week we spent every night together, chatting, teasing and eventually showing ourselfs on the webcam. There were nudeness and there were orgasms. And in the spur of a moment we decided to meet. And here I am, packing my bags for a week of, hopefully, naughty, kinky, romantic sex. Yes I do hope for romantic vanilla sex. As I said, apparently I am a sucker for his italian words. Hearing how beautiful I am in italian while he looks at me with his sweet eyes and the expression of total admiration, yes I want that. Even if the only word I understand is Bella