Building theories

While driving home this Friday I wondered and pondered why I didn't feel submissive to the guy. He was longer than me, had a bigger body, his hands were very strong and big and he could clearly win over me in a wrestling fight. All those things are signals for me to get turned on. But for some reason it didn't do it for me this time. It was more like I felt superior to him, during sex but also outside the sex. He mostly reminded me of a young boy in need of guidance and I'm not one of the girls that fall for that.

So I thought to myself; who of my partners have made me feel truly submissive? I came up with The Musician and  My Play Pal. And what is different about them, what do they have that no one else I've been with have? Of course there's experience but I also stumbled across another piece of information: How they treat me between our sessions.

They are both very busy boys, they live a full life with work, school, friends and everything else. Seeing as I have much more time on my hands I am horny more often than they are, leaving me in the dependant situation. It's me who asks them if they have the time to play. I try to be casual and sweet but I can't help to feel I'm nagging a bit. I'm not sure this has any relevance at all as to why they are better doms than anyone else, but it sure does feel like the power is with them even outside our sessions. With the other boys we are more equal or maybe even I'm the one in control. This theory of mine is a bit unsetteling as I am a very firm believer in having the control of myself outside the sessions. If the theory is correct, that I only enjoy dominants guys that keep me at distance when not playing, then I will never be able to live with my future master, having a normal relationship with him.

Maybe I'm just being silly and the answer is much more simple. I've just ran into those kind of doms but there are a lot of other ones out there, ones that won't keep me at a distance when we're not playing. But do I really want it like that? Maybe I've grown to accustomed to the inferior role and won't understand another situation even if it bites me in the arse.