Right there and then I gave myself a promise that I wouldn't have to do that again. I dont care who might think its compulsory to swallow when having sex or if its impressive to love sperm. You know what, I can swallow. But if there is a option, I won't do it. I don't like sperm, not the taste nor the consistency and since when does sex mean doing stuff one strongly dislikes. I've done it countless of times and now my common sense caught up with my frantic desire to impress everyone and told it "Bad frantic desire!".
This is not so much about sex (except that I got to tell everyone I got fucked last night...) as it is about me growing up and becoming wiser. Certain insights hit me from time to time and I seem to grow stronger and more confident after realising them. I will still struggle at times but the base knowledge is there, I don't have to impress everyone I meet. Go me.