I made out my first time at the age of 15.
I had sex for the first time at the age of 15.
When I was 15 there were only a few girls in my class who were popular among the boys, us others kept to ourselfs. I found my first boyfriend online and it was he who gave me my first of everything. The first night we met he kissed me, I gave my first blow job, we had sex (without condom sigh...), we even tried anal. Except for the time when he pretended to come (still without a condom...) I recall it as a rather nice first time. I do not, however, remember if it hurt. At least there were no blood. I wish I would have thought more often about my first time so the memory would have been clearer but I have done everything in my power to forget what he done to me and apparently I succeded all to well.
Back to the loosing of my virginity. Naturally I had been exploring myself for a couple of years already but that night increased my knowledge of sex by a 100%. And naturally when bragging about it to my friends it increased my status among them. At least in the section jealousy I like to think. Now when I'm older and wiser... I still bragg about it! I mean, a blog just for my own sex life, jeez...
Ahem. Honestly it's more the exhibitionistic side in me that made me create it. If someone likes what I write and get turned on by it, I feel I have succeded. Ok, getting side tracked once again.
Do I regrett having sex on the first night? No.
Do I regrett having it with him? No.
Do I regrett meeting him? Yes.
Now this may strike you as not compatible but as life goes on, I've learned that every little experience makes you who you are at the moment and right now I'm rather happy how I turned out to be. And you can always change who you are, it just takes a really long time. If I haden't met him I don't know when my first contact with sex with another person would have been, my qualified guess is when I hooked up with my second boyfriend, also known as my current play pal. However bad person the first boyfriend was he did teach me some things: Don't trust unconditionally. Don't let anyone physically threathen me. And leave immediately if someones say "I'll kill myself if you leave me." Despite that he was never a bad lover, we had fun in bed and I never felt forced into doing something I wasen't prepared to do. Many times I have wondered if I got talked into doing stuff that first night, seeing as I don't really have a vivid memory of it, but in the end I think it doesn't matter. When I think back about it I don't have any regretts or strange feelings about it and I'm not emotionally hurt so whatever we did, it was good.
Ahem. Honestly it's more the exhibitionistic side in me that made me create it. If someone likes what I write and get turned on by it, I feel I have succeded. Ok, getting side tracked once again.
Do I regrett having sex on the first night? No.
Do I regrett having it with him? No.
Do I regrett meeting him? Yes.
Now this may strike you as not compatible but as life goes on, I've learned that every little experience makes you who you are at the moment and right now I'm rather happy how I turned out to be. And you can always change who you are, it just takes a really long time. If I haden't met him I don't know when my first contact with sex with another person would have been, my qualified guess is when I hooked up with my second boyfriend, also known as my current play pal. However bad person the first boyfriend was he did teach me some things: Don't trust unconditionally. Don't let anyone physically threathen me. And leave immediately if someones say "I'll kill myself if you leave me." Despite that he was never a bad lover, we had fun in bed and I never felt forced into doing something I wasen't prepared to do. Many times I have wondered if I got talked into doing stuff that first night, seeing as I don't really have a vivid memory of it, but in the end I think it doesn't matter. When I think back about it I don't have any regretts or strange feelings about it and I'm not emotionally hurt so whatever we did, it was good.
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