Worries

Due to a medical condition I currently can't have sex and you would think that I'd constantly go around thinking about it and being frustrated but it's more like I've stopped longing for sex. Not even the fact that I didn't get another session with The Musician can bother me much. My poor pussy hurts so much it killed my lust. You could also think this means I haven't masturbated for a while seeing as my hand also would hurt my pussy but no. I'm lacking the lust but I'm also lacking anything else to do with my spare time and then I normally turn to porn. The nastier, more disturbed the better. I'm not proud over this honestly, I enjoy the orgasms but really, just because I'm bored!?

I'm also mildly concerned that my lust for the darker side of porn will never end and I will keep going down the brutal, sadistical, disturbed road. Right now I can find the porn that turns me on, but what on earth will I do when it's no longer enough? Is this a real concern or is it just me worrying to much as usual? I'll try and stop thinking of it and just be happy with what I am right now, and I'm loving the sexual side of myself right now! If only I had someone to show this side of me too...volunteers sign up here!