The Beast

I'd like you all to meet my newest play pal, The Beast.

We met at the kinky community I keep talking about (www.darkside.se), he found me, we started a conversation, you know; the usual stuff. After a while we decided that what we had felt good enough that a date would be suitable. Said and done, friday evening was spent together drinking tea and watching a movie (Avatar, go see, beautiful) and we found out that indeed we do make a good match.

Yesterday we spent in a little cottage out in the woods, all alone and no one to hear me scream...

We really hit it off, there were no hesitation or fumbling, spot on and full speed ahead at once.  Unless he had told me so I would never have guessed him to be a beginner-dom. His imagination is vivid and evil, he got the craftmanship to follow through on every nasty idea he gets and I'm the one he's doing it too. I feel blessed!

His nick-name is based on the fact that he's like a beast in bed, I merely have to grab onto his body (his oh so muscular body) and try to keep up. He also likes to bite me. My neck is red, scratched and complete with a hickey, and so is my breasts. Hence The Beast and the wolf picture.

This is a guy that will stay with me for a while so forget those others I've tried out lately, they pale in comparison. Remember, The Beast.

Merry Christmas!

Porrtrollet makes another notch in her bed post...

I'd just like note that I've met a boy, full of life and naughty toughts, that fit me exactly. We've just spent two glorious days together and I'm sure more will come as I finally seem to have a permanent play partner more close to my home.

For now I wish you all a very merry christmas with lots of spanking, presents and time to rejoice with the ones close to you. Mwah!

I'm so just back home after a date with a super sweet guy and I can't wait to meet him again! But untill I've talked to him about the blog I won't share details. Just, Im thrilled!

Share - The strap-less strap-on

This is an amazing toy.

First of all it's a lot of fun to suddenly have a cock to fool around with. For once you can be the one standing up taking your partner from behind or lying down and watching your partner struggle as they try to ride your cock. Much fun.

Secondly, Share feels awesome, for both parts. Notice the strange design and the lack of straps? The short bulky part goes into the pussy and with use of your pussy muscles you can walk around wagging your own cock in a matter of seconds. Just remember to not use alot of lubrication when inserting it as that will make it slide out again. However, if you know your pussy muscles are weak this might not be the thing for you as it's quit heavy and you have to hold it up by internal muscles alone. Judging by the respons from the man I tried this on the cock part feels like heaven on a stick. Not to mention seeing your "dick" going inside someone else, that is a fascinating image! It does take some practising to get used to the in-and-out-movement but surely you don't mind practising with your partner, may it be male or female?

Share is made out of silicon and has the lovely silk smooth touch that almost all of Fun Factorys products has and that I love. It is a bit on the expensive side but totally worth it. I strongly recommend this to anyone bold enough to go where no one gone before!

I discovered, as I was browsing through Chagrin, that I find a man giving a blow job to a strap on to be very attractive. It actually awoke my dominant side and next time I get my hands on a submissive man I'll be doing this in plenty! It just baffles me that I didn't do this last year when I had both a submissive partner and the amazing Share

Bi-dream

In front of me stood a woman, naked and voluptuous. As I walked closer I noticed that I too was naked and that our bodies looked similar. I knew I knew the woman in front of me but I couldn't name her, only knew that this was right, this was supposed to happen.
As I got closer she lifted her arms and invited me to her body and I gently embraced her into my arms. As we hugged I could feel every curve or her body, her ample breasts and soft stomach pushing against mine, and it was a warm and fuzzy feeling. Suddenly we were stood in a corner and I was leaning against the wall and we were kissing. It was a long and deep kiss, her tongue played around inside my mouth, feeling every little detail, rubbing against my tongue and following my lips lines. It was a sensual kiss and I woke up longing for a woman.

Orgasms

I have never in my life faked an orgasm and the times I've had sex and not had one can be counted on one hand throughout my entire life. I can make myself come very easily but I got a little hangup when someone tries to do it for me. Even though my summer crush made me think I died and went to heaven when he put his tongue on my pussy he never made me come. It strikes me as rather odd and I'm getting a bit frustrated by this. And sometimes I hear of girls only being able to come when someone else does it for them, I have no idea how they manage that?

And how do I get rid of a sexual hangup?

Caged, part 2

Better late than never ey?
Part two of the lovely novel by the lovely Mita from DarkSide.
Part one can be found here.


Once again, I woke up in darkness, curled in a little ball in my cage. This time, it was from my bladder reminding me of certain basic needs. I shifted restlessly, trying to find the most comfortable position, but froze as I heard footsteps coming my way, marching in time with the clinking of dangling keys. The footsteps stopped just outside my cage and the cover was flung off (someone must have checked up on me as I slept and put it back on). 
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I blinked in the sharp, sudden light. This was not the same man as before. This one had a handsome, clean-shaven face with piercing blue eyes, short blond hair and a tall, muscular body. He was dressed all in black and held a leash in one hand while he bent to unlock and open the door of my cage.

“Come here. Now, you do not want me to have to come in and get you!” he said with a low but commanding voice as I hesitated, pressed against the bars across the cage from him, trying to hide my nakedness. I finally obeyed, but apparently I wasn’t moving quickly enough for his liking, for as soon as I was close enough he reached in with his right hand, grabbed a hold of my hair, and pulled to make me move faster. As I exited the cage and was on the floor just in front of him, he held his grip on my hair, and pulled my upper body up and back. At the same time he gave my behind a lash with the end of the leash and said “Sit” in a prompt tone. I sat down on my heels, and before he let go of my hair he tilted my head downwards. He clipped the leash in place, and then turned so that I was kneeling close to his left side.

“Now, this is called “Heel”, and is what you’re expected to do when exiting out of your cage, of course always waiting for the order before moving” he told me, and with a quick tug on the leash and a curt “Come,” he started forward, me crawling on all fours next to him. He kept the leash very short, and I was forced to lengthen my neck as much as I could, and keep close to his leg, in order not to chokingly be dragged along. 

We went to a door I hadn’t noticed before, set in the opposite wall. Behind it was a bathroom complete with shower stall, sink and a toilet. He stopped a couple of steps into the bathroom, pulling me to a sitting position with the leash. He then unclipped it and pointed to the toilet. 

“Help yourself to the toilet.” He made no move of leaving the room, and when I hesitated he poked my butt with the tip of his boot. “Your days of privacy are over. You might as well get used to that right now. Get moving!” Mortified and flushing furiously, I went to the toilet and did what I had to do, whilst looking down on the floor; trying to pretend that he wasn’t in the room, watching me. 

When I had finished he ordered me into the shower, hands on the wall in front of me. I heard him bustling about, but didn’t dare to take a peak. I jumped when warm water suddenly hit me in a soft shower. He made sure I was thoroughly wet before turning the water off, pouring some shampoo on my hair and starting to massage it in. After having kneaded my head and neck, he poured a fresh-smelling soap on a puff and kept soaping my arms, back and legs. I had started to relax a bit from the warm water and the luxury of being gently and thoroughly washed, letting my head hang forward with my eyes closed, and didn’t react when he started soaping my belly, until he suddenly dropped the puff to the floor and let both his hands slide up to my breasts to give them a firm squeeze. 

My head came up with a snap, and instinctively I tore my hands from the wall to grab his hands to pry them off me. Quicker than I could react though, he had both of my arms twisted behind my back, held securely in a one-handed firm grip. My cheek and body were pressed hard against the wall in front of me while his big, muscular body was leaning on my tiny form. 
“Bad girl”, he hissed in my ear. “I did not give you permission to move, much less to touch me. Resistance is futile. The sooner you get that into your system, the better for you.” As he spoke, he swatted my butt a few times, to punctuate his words. I tried to squirm, but it was impossible, I was held too tightly.

He took my hands and again placed them on the wall in front of me. Then he laid his hands on my waist and pulled my lower body out further from the wall, so that I became unbalanced and had to lean on my hands not to fall over. Afterwards he made me spread my feet wide so that my body was positioned in the classic strip-and-search pose, and finally ordered me to stay put, or else…

I was panting slightly from fright and didn’t dare to do anything other than obey. He waited a minute or so, to let me calm down a bit, then let his hands again slowly slide up to cup my breasts. He started playing with them, squeezing, caressing, and lightly flicking the nipples, alternating the sensations from soft to hard and with occasional small bursts of pain. After a little while, he took my nipples between his fingertips and slowly, slowly tweaked them until I gasped from the pain. He kept still there for a moment, just to make a point of me having to let him do whatever pleased him, before letting go and returning to his toying of my breasts with one hand. The other one he let slide down my body, over my stomach, all the way to my cunt. With his other hand, he kept one of my nipples in a warning grip, silently telling me to behave, while he let his hand slide in between my legs.

Next, he let his finger, slick with foamy soap and my natural moisture, thoroughly examine every crevice of my pussy. I closed my eyes, trying, to no avail, to distance myself from my body’s reactions. But he made it impossible for me to ignore his hands, as they skilfully mixed pleasure with pain. Pretty soon, he had my stiff body trembling, my breaths now pants from arousal, more than fear. As he let first one, then two long fingers slip deep inside me, I involuntarily gasped from the intensity of the sensation, arching my back as much as I could, grinding myself on his hand. Just as I was about to abandon my stubborn and useless struggle not to come, my legs weak and shaking from lust, he stopped. 

He….. stopped! I couldn’t believe it. There he had me, against my will, so hot I could barely stand, and when I finally was about to let go, to let him win, he just stopped. I blinked, disbelievingly, trying to comprehend what was happening as he pulled his fingers out of me, released my bosom, and quickly but efficiently rinsed the soap off. 

If I was mad before, I was in a pure fury now. I never let my lust steer my actions. I was always in control, always level-headed about what happened in the bedroom. And now, when I, for once, let my control slip, I was denied the reward. I could not believe it! I glared at him as he finished rinsing me and turned the water off.

When he’d put the shower head back into its proper place, he met my eyes, taking in my stiff-legged, furious stance in a quick glance. I defiantly stared back at him, took a deep breath; but before I managed to say anything, his hand snaked out and grabbed the ring in my collar. With a quick pull and twist he had me lying on my stomach the floor at his feet, blinking, wondering what the heck had just happened.
He went into a crouch next to me, took one of my arms and twisted it behind my back in a painful grip. The other he used to take a firm grip of my chin and bend my head up so that I had to look him in the face.

“You have no more say in anything. Anything we want to do with or to you, you will accept, without complaint. You will do as you are told, promptly, and to the best of your ability. I do not want to hear any arguments from you. Failure means punishment. Is that understood?” When I didn’t reply he twisted my arm higher until I cried out a “Yes!” “Yes, Sir is the correct answer. Try again.”

I quickly answered with a “Yes Sir” and was rewarded with getting my arm back in a more comfortable position. He, then, lifted me up to a standing position and dried me off with a soft towel. Finished with that, he grabbed the leash and slapped his left leg, saying “Heel”. I quickly obeyed, going down to kneel next to his left foot, being too tired and confused to offer any more resistance. He clipped the leash back on and led me back to the cage. Before closing and locking the door he put a bowl of water on the floor for me to drink from. He made sure I drank some before he left me alone in the room again, forcing me to stand on my fours and only using my mouth while drinking.

My first time

I got my first kiss at the age of 15.

I made out my first time at the age of 15.

I had sex for the first time at the age of 15.

When I was 15 there were only a few girls in my class who were popular among the boys, us others kept to ourselfs. I found my first boyfriend online and it was he who gave me my first of everything. The first night we met he kissed me, I gave my first blow job, we had sex (without condom sigh...), we even tried anal. Except for the time when he pretended to come (still without a condom...) I recall it as a rather nice first time. I do not, however, remember if it hurt. At least there were no blood. I wish I would have thought more often about my first time so the memory would have been clearer but I have done everything in my power to forget what he done to me and apparently I succeded all to well. 

Back to the loosing of my virginity. Naturally I had been exploring myself for a couple of years already but that night increased my knowledge of sex by a 100%. And naturally when bragging about it to my friends it increased my status among them. At least in the section jealousy I like to think. Now when I'm older and wiser... I still bragg about it! I mean, a blog just for my own sex life, jeez... 
Ahem. Honestly it's more the exhibitionistic side in me that made me create it. If someone likes what I write and get turned on by it, I feel I have succeded. Ok, getting side tracked once again.

Do I regrett having sex on the first night? No.
Do I regrett having it with him? No.
Do I regrett meeting him? Yes.
Now this may strike you as not compatible but as life goes on, I've learned that every little experience makes you who you are at the moment and right now I'm rather happy how I turned out to be. And you can always change who you are, it just takes a really long time. If I haden't met him I don't know when my first contact with sex with another person would have been, my qualified guess is when I hooked up with my second boyfriend, also known as my current play pal. However bad person the first boyfriend was he did teach me some things: Don't trust unconditionally. Don't let anyone physically threathen me. And leave immediately if someones say "I'll kill myself if you leave me." Despite that he was never a bad lover, we had fun in bed and I never felt forced into doing something I wasen't prepared to do. Many times I have wondered if I got talked into doing stuff that first night, seeing as I don't really have a vivid memory of it, but in the end I think it doesn't matter. When I think back about it I don't have any regretts or strange feelings about it and I'm not emotionally hurt so whatever we did, it was good. 

Velcro

Boyfriend just got home with thin, long, doublesided velcro (kardborreband for you swedish without a dictionary close by)!

Amazingly enough he tried to tie my hands together, but just as an experiment not a sexual invitation. Boo-ooring. On the plus side he put the sticky side, the hooks, on the inside and told me to try and pull my hands apart. I failed of course, velcro is really good at keeping stuff together, but I got some nice tiny dots around my wrists wich I happily inspected.

And yes I got a bit turned on. And yes I really need to try this velcro buisness out.

Just thinking about sundays fun get's me all wet.

Unexpected fun time!

Yesterday was spent together with my play pal!

Today has been spent moaning everytime my breasts touched something, everytime I bent my neck and everytime I used my leg muscles. Happy, happy me!

I was lucky enough to get together with my play pal  yesterday and he took me for a ride in Pain-land again.

It started out rather calm by him ordering me to remove my clothes while he was looking at me. Sweater, top, trousers. Paus for inspection. Bra and panties. Paus for inspection. And then Wham! When I wasen't prepared he took a firm grip of both my nipples and brutally dragged me forward. I cried out and stumbled closer to him. After being placed in the center of the room he continued to play and pinch my nipples, just a bit harder than what's comfortable. After a while he got his bag of ropes and pulled one out and put it around my chest, and then another one but this one above my breasts. Tied my hands on my back to the rope and took a step back to admire his work. More pinching, squeezing and slapping of breasts proceeded. 

It was decided beforehand to not be any fucking involved this time so instead he could do whatever he wanted with the rest of my body (nothing new there really). He's got his mind set on teaching me to take it deep-throat so we did that alot cause I'm not very good at it yet. When he got bored of my gagging reflex he took it out on my breasts. 

At one point I was hogtied with my head hanging outside of the table I was lying on and forced to suck and take his cock as far in as I could. I fought desperatly against my own panic, sometimes succeding and sometimes panicking. But dammit, I really want to be able to do it! So most of the time I got myself together, swallowed the saliva and opened my mouth again. In the end when I couldn't stand it anymore and refused to open my mouth he slapped me in the face - and let me tell you this, it hurts in a most unpleasant way! Feels like the brain shakes and the entire cranium hurts. Effective and scary. I opened my mouth once again.

Later I was turned around on my back and head still hanging outside of the table. I recommend this position to be able to really do deep-throath, at least for a beginner like me. For the first time ever his cock slid all the way in and there was nothing stopping it! Totally amazed I could only stare straight ahead and didn't notice I should be gagging. It was awesome. Sadly the other times he did it I felt it oh so much more and couldn't stop the panic. But I'll be hoping for that pose again!

Every time he withdrew from my mouth and I tried to gather myself he liked to take the drool I produced, you know the thick kind that hangs from dick to mouth in every deep-throath-movie, and smear it into my face. I really disliked that! His sadistic laughter as he did it ensured me that I won't manage to get away from that in the future either.

Combined with the drool my eyes were always filled with tears, both from the tension in my throat and actual crying, my make-up were smudged (wich was the true reason I even used makeup that day) and I have photo proof that I looked god damn sexy like that! I especially love that you can see both pain and lust in my eyes.

Lying on my side, still hogtied and with a clothespin on my left nipple. Only on my left nipple. Because he knew it would make it more frustrating to get the pain asymmetrical. He was extremely correct. It hurt so incredible much I lost control over what I said and did. My body wriggled and squirmed, I could hear myself saying "Please, please" over and over until he removed it. Begging for mercy without a conscious decision to do so was...interesting. But so was the pain and I think that in the end I started to enjoy the other feelings that came alongside the pain. Or was that perhaps when he focused on my right nipple? Everything is a blur of pain and it's really hard to separate the different events.

He tried to do hair bondage on me but it failed. Don't know if my hair was to short or if it was to glossy but the rope slipped off as soon he pulled on it. But hey no worries, he could still take all my hair in one hand and painfully drag my head back to the edge of what's possible! Feeling the pull in my scalp, not being able to look back down/up again while getting mouth-fucked was arousing. And painful, never forget painful! As we ended the session he had me sitting on my knees, hands still on my back, and placed a rope between my lips and tied it to the rope on my back getting the same effect as the hair pulling. He then had my upper body, my pussy and thighs exposed wich he really enjoyed with a whip in his hand. That position rendered me tiny purple dots of bruises on my breasts and a thick upper lip from the rope. When I wasen't biting the rope in my eagerness to withstand the pain I screamed through the rope, oh so I screamed...

Family dreams

Sitting on the floor, leaning against the sofa, watching TV. My boyfriends cousin enters the room and stops for a moment, looking at me and my position. He comes up to me, leans in and grabs ahold of my neck in a firm grip and pushes my head backwards until it is resting on the sofa. 
"You like this don't you? I know you do, I can see it in your eyes and your movement. No need to deny it."
Almost out of breath I mumble something while nodding slowly, helplessly caught in his commanding eyes. He loosens his grip and I quickly draw in some more air before he once again shuts me off.
"I know how you want to be treated, I can read you like an open book even when you are surrounded by people who knows nothing of this."
Once again I am allowed a quick breath. Inside me something is brewing, my body is heavy and I got a tingling feeling between my legs. Even though he only holds one hand on me I'm incapable of moving. 
"Do you want me to treat you the way you deserv?" 
He let's go off me and stands up, tall and slim with blond hair. At first I'm only breathing and enjoying the fresh air. Then I position myself on my knees, hands on thighs and eyes on his feet and proclaims:
"Please do master."

Tree-hugger

Today I decided to take a walk in the forest.

As I walked past the trees I got to thinking about their bark.
"It's very rough. If I were to press my breasts against it I'm sure it would hurt in a most pleasurable way."
It was only that short thought that crossed my mind and I never thought about fulfilling it. Happily I walked onwards.


However, on the way home the sun had set and the forest were rather dark and the same thought crossed my mind again. But this time I realized the possibility I had to live it out. I suddenly stopped and stared around me. Took another look around me. Found a suitable tree right in front of me. Glared, stared and watched the forest around me, carefully making sure I was totally alone. When certain I slowly proceeded to pull my top up, including my bra, and exposing my breasts to the cold fall air. Wonderfull.

I pressed my body against the lean tree, placed my breasts on either side of the trunk and enjoyed the feeling. It was way more intense than I had expected it to be. Unable to think sensible I pressed myself harder against the tree, with my legs on either side I angled my lower body so that my pussy would come in contact with the tree. The tree gave excellent stimulation and I stayed there for a few moments just enjoying the moment. Lustfully sighing and picturing myself naked and in the same position with a whipping incoming. 

Twice before I've had sex out in the forest, both with my current boyfriend. Both times we were out running together and got overwhelmed with hornyness.

First time we found a really romantic place filled with moss. It was many years ago so forgive me for not remembering the details. I do know he whipped me with birch while I was lying on a big rock. Also remember getting sperm on my pants...

Second time was like the first one except the birch. We had to stop in the middle of running, find a secluded spot in the forest and fuck. Equally awesome. Sperm on my pants this time too..

I'm not overly exhibitionistic but I seem to enjoy having sex in the nature when I know I'm alone. There is something very special about feeling the air caressing your body and natures calm approval of who you are.
Maybe next year I'll rent a small cottage, invite a couple of well selected friends and really enjoy the nature.

Back in buisness? Let's hope!

Tonight I felt lust for the first time in a, for me, rather long time! I don't know what happened before today but I got a theory that it's closely connected to my period. Now I'm approaching the horny period of my cycle so I'll be having fun again!

Boyfriend gave me a really strong orgasm this evening. I had just gotten out of the shower, wich is a really god time to get down on me as I don't worry about smelling or being unfresh, when suddenly he was behind me and clearly onto something. First there were stroking of my breasts and nipples, and he knows how to handle them by now, it's a very delicate process. Can't go out to fast or hard because that takes away some of my hornyness. Apply the correct pressure and move slowly, treat my breasts good and you'll have a real treat in watching me endlessly moan and wriggle. So after the correct pressure had been applied and he got my breath all deep and fast he carefully pushed me down onto the bed and kissed me slowly down my chest, over my stomach and ended up on my pussy. My lips were still closed and with my pubic hair as a protective barrier it felt great! Also a matter of moving at the right speed and not aiming straight for the clit. Extremely lightly he placed his tongue at the bottom of my pussy and dragged it all the way to the top. It was awesome! Remember that, don't go straight for the goods, tease and you will please!

With one finger up my anal, more fingers inside my pussy and my own fingers on the clit I came, long and hard. And for once I was totally quiet. I also stopped breathing during the orgasm. It was intense.
I wonder why I stop breathing when the sensations are strong. It's not only during orgasm I do that. Happens alot during oral sex. Normally I'm not very good at holding my breath but when it happens if I'm horny I hold it and don't even notice I'm lacking oxygen. I always think that one day I should take time but that makes me focus on the air and so I notice the lack of oxygen wich fails the try.

So, with my lust somewhat restored I'm hoping I will be able to wrap up my review of my toys, get back into masturbating and being the horny girl I truly am.

True Blood

I've begun following the rather new tw-show True Blood that's being aired on swedish television since 26th of august.

I'm sure it comes as no big surprise that I'm totally hooked. I mean, have you seen the multitude of sex scenes? And it's not sweet love we're talking, it's hardcore with the fresh smell of blood. If it was the real world, and I was living it, I would definately go for a vampire. But preferably not one that kills humans!

Aside from being a really god tv-show that I really look forward to follow it portraits sex in a way american TV normally don't dare. It's dark and brutal, and we get some really nice shots of naked people having sex. And all those scenes with bare necks followed by fangs, makes me bone shiver with lust!

I remember one scen with bare neck from todays episodes. Sookie comes looking for Bill in his house but is met by three other vampires by the door. She get's invited by Bill but it doesn't seem like he's willing to control his "friends". Eventually all three of them are circling her, smelling her, longing for her virginity. The male vampire behind her grabes her head and pushes it to the side, exposing her neck in a most erotic way. For them it's dinner. Imagine her, a young innocent woman standing in the middle of three hungry and lustfilled vampires. His hand with a tight grip on her head, her neck so pale and tempting. Yum yum.

A little bit of wisdom on the way to death

"I don't believe in 'body flaws. To believe in them, you have to believe in one single ideal body, and I emphatically do not! I know what I am supposed to look like -- I'm supposed to look like me. And since no one can look more like me than me, I'm as close to perfect as it gets. I don't need to look like anyone else OR any other version of myself. I don't have flaws -- and neither do you. What we have are differences, and they are what make us beautiful, what make us unique, what make us who we are."


http://belenen.deviantart.com/

Tonights dream

I had this awesome, hot, steamy sex dream tonight. Wich I of course remember only a few vague details. Every time this happens it bums me out. I want to remember it clearly! To know why I woke up in the middle of the night feeling horny.

It involved me and my play pal's boyfriend. The boyfriend is an übercute, tall boy with dark eyes and no bdsm-interest what so ever. Luckily that didn't stop my dream from making him act very kinky.

However, all I can recall  is me being very horny, him being very horny and fucked by a dildo-machine while I lustfully watched it.

I'm having a bit of a low period right now, I'm not even masturbating. But I can tell you this, since I created my blog my ratio of sex dreams has increased a lot. Probably had more sex dreams this year than I've had all my life before. Dreams gives me the same intense feelings as a well performed bdsm-session does and I love those feelings!

Building theories

While driving home this Friday I wondered and pondered why I didn't feel submissive to the guy. He was longer than me, had a bigger body, his hands were very strong and big and he could clearly win over me in a wrestling fight. All those things are signals for me to get turned on. But for some reason it didn't do it for me this time. It was more like I felt superior to him, during sex but also outside the sex. He mostly reminded me of a young boy in need of guidance and I'm not one of the girls that fall for that.

So I thought to myself; who of my partners have made me feel truly submissive? I came up with The Musician and  My Play Pal. And what is different about them, what do they have that no one else I've been with have? Of course there's experience but I also stumbled across another piece of information: How they treat me between our sessions.

They are both very busy boys, they live a full life with work, school, friends and everything else. Seeing as I have much more time on my hands I am horny more often than they are, leaving me in the dependant situation. It's me who asks them if they have the time to play. I try to be casual and sweet but I can't help to feel I'm nagging a bit. I'm not sure this has any relevance at all as to why they are better doms than anyone else, but it sure does feel like the power is with them even outside our sessions. With the other boys we are more equal or maybe even I'm the one in control. This theory of mine is a bit unsetteling as I am a very firm believer in having the control of myself outside the sessions. If the theory is correct, that I only enjoy dominants guys that keep me at distance when not playing, then I will never be able to live with my future master, having a normal relationship with him.

Maybe I'm just being silly and the answer is much more simple. I've just ran into those kind of doms but there are a lot of other ones out there, ones that won't keep me at a distance when we're not playing. But do I really want it like that? Maybe I've grown to accustomed to the inferior role and won't understand another situation even if it bites me in the arse.

His tongue was pierced

So, my date this friday.

I've been busting my brain all weekend trying to come up with a good text about it but the "flow" won't come to me so I'll just spit it out.

It was good, but nothing extraordinary at all. We were both equally big cat lovers and players but the connection stopped there. In fact, if the sex wouldn't have happened I don't think I would have missed it at all. It was just plain rough sex. Not entirely sure why I went along with it cause I didn't feel submissive at all. And I know he was a newbie and all but I can't gather the motivation to be his test dummy to try out his newfound kinkyness on. I wan't someone experienced, the days of trying and getting halfway there is over. I no longer wish to play the role of the submissive one, I need to feel it, to be it.

So, you ask, why did you have sex with him?

Well, to tell the truth I just kinda went along with it. He started out perfect, stroking my neck and grabbing my hair and I did like that, but then all we did as foreplay was kissing, alot. And then some more kissing. I don't know about you but kisses is kinda boring after the first five. His tongue piercing gave the kisses a vague taste of metal, nothing disturbing but it was there. After we started on the foreplay I kinda figured I could still stop him whenever I felt like it but as usual I never took the decision to stop him (I am such an indecisive girl) and suddenly I was naked from the waiste down and had his tongue on my pussy. And finally I got some payment for my one hour car trip! He was good at it, and he sure knew where my g-spot was! With a little bit of change in speed I'm sure he could have made me come without me helping myself. Anyway, that was the highlight of the sex seeing as his penetration was below average and I could barely make myself enjoy it, in fact it actually hurt at times but bah, he was soon done so I was out of that trouble. Eventually I made myself come, stroking my pussy and his fingers inside it. And that was it, no cuddle or sweet words. We got up and ate. I'm not saying I need sweet words, but a little time to rest and catch my breath after the orgasm is nice! After the food, the movie and some chitt-chatt I went back home, another hour spent in the car, and comforted myself with some good food and an episode of Smallville. I quickly decided not to meet him again but before I could muster up the courage to say it several days passed all while he was asking and nagging when we would see each other again.

Conclusion: It's silly of me to regrett something that already happen so I won't do that. The oral was nice, the rest was ok. But I require awesomeness. Therefore I will file this under one-night-stands and never look back! Also I better learn something from this...hm...something...never have sex with a boy whose floor is a total mess!

Porrtrollet makes another notch in her bedpost...

Caged, part 1

I stumbled a couple of lovely novells this morning and with the authors permission I'm posting them here. If you're scandinavian go to DarkSide and visit Mita, she's the one who created these masterpieces:

I slowly awakened in total darkness, curled in the foetal position on a big blanket. What had happened, and where was I? I couldn’t remember much from last night, except that the last drink had tasted a bit funny...

This wasn’t my bedroom. Come to think about it, not even a bedroom, I found out as I cautiously tried to uncurl myself and hit walls. No, not walls, metal bars. Cold, hard, metal bars, with thick soft cloth on the outside. I felt the panic starting to rise, fuelled by fear. And what was that around my neck? My hands flew up to my neck, finding a thin leather collar with a metal ring attached at the front. As quickly as I could I undid the clasp and threw the collar away from me; it hit the bars with a clang. Apart from that, the only sound I could hear was my own rapid breathing.

Suddenly there was a new sound in my world of darkness. A rhythmic thumping, made of hard heels on a wooden floor, coming closer. The footsteps stopped. “Ah, so we are finally awake?” It was a deep, manly voice, sounding slightly amused. “Let me introduce myself” The sudden bright light on the other side of the cage made me blink; the man had lifted one side of the cloth covering my cage. “I, he said as he peered at me, covering in the furthest corner, am your new Master, and you are my new Toy. Since I’ve paid quite a lot of money for you, I expect that you’ll perform well and show me what a good little slave you are. Now, come out and greet your Master”. He opened the door and took a step back. I didn’t move, just watched him intensively. He raised an eyebrow; “I said, come here, NOW”. I shook my head. “You’re not my master. You’re not my anything. I’m a free woman and you’d better let me go, now! I said, defiantly. His other eyebrow joined the first one. “You know, you’re just making it more difficult for yourself”, he said as he started to peel the fabric off the top of the cage. I tensed, watching him closely; he didn’t seem to pay too much attention to me, intent on his task of moving the heavy cloth. When he had reached the other end of the cage, I made a dash for the opening.

Just as I was fully out of the cage, he pounced on me, and we fell heavily to the floor, wrestling. I did my best, trying to escape him, but he was too strong and well trained for my efforts to last, and before very long I found myself lying on my stomach, breathing heavily, my hands effectively and somewhat painfully pinned behind my back where he was sitting. “So, he said as I felt him shift on top of me, you want to do this the hard way, eh? Fine with me” I heard metal clinking, and cold metal suddenly encased my wrists. “On your knees!” He got of me and took a firm hold of my hair to pull me up. “I haven’t had the opportunity to break a new slave in for quite a while. I am going to enjoy this! He bent his head close to my ear and whispered; “Thoroughly…”

“What’s this, the bitch has taken her collar off? I see I will have to teach you never to take anything off that I put on you without my expressive permission! Now, for your own good, don’t move” He let go of me, sullenly sitting on my knees with my hands handcuffed behind my back, went to retrieve the collar, and put it around my neck, making sure it was sitting tight. “There, much better, don’t you agree?” He tilted my head up and stroked a finger along my jaw line, ignoring the hate in my eyes. As he came close to my mouth I tried to bite his fingers; he quickly snatched his hand away. “Feisty little minx!” Smack! He cuffed me across the face. “That is NOT the way to treat your Master!” The hit was hard enough and unexpected enough to fell me to the floor. As I tried to get over the chock he quickly went to a nearby table to pick something up, then straddled me where I was lying, helpless, on the floor, and roughly strapped a gag on my head.

He then grabbed my hair and pulled me up on my feet, using the hair as a handle to pull my face close to his and hissed; “You obviously have A LOT to learn. I’d better make you unable to get yourself into trouble, until you’ve learnt who your Master is. I guess I just have to leash you like the ill-mannered bitch you are” as he said this he clipped a leash unto my collar and started to drag me across the room towards some kind of metal construction, almost like a freestanding doorway, with loops and rings on it in strategic places. I tried to dig my heels in, but the combination of him pulling on the leash connected to my neck, and an encouraging slap with a riding crop he’d kept in his riding boots kept me moving.

At the doorway he tossed my leash over the top, and pulled on it until I had to stand on tiptoe, or hang from the collar, and there he made it fast. He then walked around me, letting the crop caress and poke, sliding up along the legs, up the skirt and lifting it to better his view. I couldn’t defend myself against his intrusion, focused as I had to be to stay and hold my balance on my toes. Quite quickly he tired of the game and decided that he wanted to inspect his new toy more thoroughly. He picked up a knife, and, after letting the flat of the cold steel slowly, tauntingly, slide up my arm, sliced through my clothes, letting them fall off, one by one.

“Now, this is the way I like you; easily accessible for your Master at all times, should he so choose. Now, about your punishment…” Smack! Suddenly the crop hit my bare butt, making me jump and cry out from surprise and pain. He gave me a dozen lashes, letting his cruel whip spread stinging warmth across my buttocks. I tried to twist away, to escape, but to no avail; my leash didn’t give me much room to move. Apparently, even so, it wasn’t little enough to please my cruel captor; he stopped swinging the crop, letting it fall to the floor behind me, and stepped up close to me, pressing himself to my back, letting me feel his hardness and his hands slide up the front of my body, cupping themselves around my breasts, squeezing them, playing with the nipples until they hardened. “You know, I think something is missing; you don’t seem to find enough pleasure in your punishment. I’m going to add something extra to your friends here, and if you’ll be a good girl and stand still I’ll soon end your punishment. If not, well…” He released me and stepped away, coming around the frame after picking something up from the table and putting it in his pocket. He then first took my right breast in his hand, and started kissing his way over it, stopping at my nipple to lick, suck and nibble, first lightly, then harder as his hand massaged the breast, finally biting hard enough for me to gasp, quickly following it up by putting a nipple clamp on it, then stepping back to let me feel the pain blooming. “You like that, don’t you?” he said as he watched me trying to calm my breaths. Not giving me too much time to adjust to the new sensation, he repeated the procedure with the other breast and strode to the back of me again. “Now, remember, not too much squirming, or I’ll make it worse. Show me you can follow orders.” With that he started whipping me again, waiting in between the lashes for me to absorb the pain, watching me all the time with calculating eyes. I did my best to stand still, trying to breathe as deeply as I could, closing my eyes hard and fighting the tears. Even so, a tear leaked from underneath my eyelids and ran down my cheek. As soon as he saw that, he stopped.

He stuck the whip back down in his boot and came to stand in front of me. He reached out with a finger and caught my teardrop from my cheek, and looked at it, a look I couldn’t decipher on his face. He removed the nipple clamps and then the gag, all the time watching me closely. In a strangely soft voice he said; “I think that you have learnt today’s lesson. Wouldn’t you agree? Answer me.” I looked at him with large eyes, still having the occasional tremor going through my body from the pain of the punishment. “Yes”, I mumbled and looked down. Immediately there was a hint of steel in his voice and eyes, and he took my chin in a firm grip, raising my face to his. “I didn’t hear you. Try again.” I trembled, gazing into his eyes, not being able to look away. “Yes, Master” I whispered, defeated.

He looked into my eyes for a little while longer, and then, with a satisfied look in his eyes, released my chin. “Good Toy, that’s the way to answer your Master”. He unbound me from the steel construction and led me back to the cage. “I will take your handcuffs off and allow you to go into your cage to rest for a bit. I do not want to come back and find that you have taken your collar off again. Is that clear? You will _not_ like the result if you disobey me. Answer.” Again, I whispered “Yes Master”, looking at the cage that was to be my home. He uncuffed my hands and unclipped the leash, gestured for me to enter the cage and then locked it behind me, leaving it uncovered. As he walked out of the room, I once more curled, though this time very carefully, into a ball, trying not to cry. He was right. I had learnt my lesson. My body was sore and hurting and I felt very small and helpless. But I wasn’t broken. Just because I said what he wanted to hear and went where he pointed didn’t mean I actually meant it, that he was my “Master”. I did my best to tell myself that that small twitch of pleasure I had felt deep inside me when he praised me was really something else…

Iiiiih!

Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh!

I have a date this friday! I'm so excited, thrilled, nervous and so full of feelings that I can barely sit still!

But yet again I find myself with the question: What to wear?!

This is a new acquaintance to me and it shall be so much fun to see whats he's like IRL. So far our conversation has gone very smoothly and we are both quit horny after an evening of naughty chatting. I don't intend to do anything about my hornyness tonight though, why mastubate when I have the chance of good ol' sex in 36 hours.

He plays the same computer game as me and loves cats, I'd say he's a winner only based on that! And furthermore, I look forward to meeting him not only because of the sex but he seems like a nice fella, one I'd like to hang out with as a friend too.

A detailed resumé will appear after I've met him - is he a crazy psychopat or did I just have the sex of the year?

Also, I'm still trying out my LAYASpot and Lelo Lily (wich accidently broke after the first charge and I had to wait for the replacement) but a review is being planned, and if you all behave I might just go ahead and put some pictures on here where you can actually see my flesh!

Latex

Last night, just before I went to bed, I stumbled upon some youtube videos (the above one being one of them) of latex dressed woman and although I don't have a perticular fetisch for latex it apparently stuck to my head. This morning I woke up in the afterglow of a strong sex dream. No specific details remains complete in my memory but I do know I was staying with a master along with one or two other girls. We were all dressed in latex suits that covered the whole body and he liked to see us embarrassed so he had us go out in the public without us realizing it until we already were out in the open. He was a very gentle and good master, no punishment or pain were present int the dream - just the feeling of belonging to him. His calm dominance is what coloured the entire dream and I can't wait to belong to someone who will give me the same feeling in real life.

It's so incredible hard to describe the feeling of a dream, all I can say is that mine was oozing with lust, and a little bit of shame. Shame is always part of my hornyness. Not because I'm ashamed of my lust but because I get turned on by being ashamed/embarrassed/humiliated.

I stayed in bed for as long as the dream was vivid. Will be spending the day in quiet frustration.

Step 1 secured!

I have a plan.

Earlier in my life I had another plan and that one has been performed. I wanted to have sex with a very well-equipped guy and I have to say that my summer crush was nicely equipped. It could be bigger but then I would hurt my pussy in my eagerness to fuck it. My next plan is this: have sex with a man with a darker skin colour.

I have some excellent neighbours; suitable age, dark skin and good looks but I always drooled at them from my balcony. Safe in my little tower behind my locked door. And when I walked by them hoping they would look at me with lust I never really believed they would. I mean, they look good enough to get models. And I'm just your curvy sex freak. So I've distanced myself. Tonight I went for some air and just as I was getting back into the house they waved and said "Hey, how's you?". Before I changed my mind I walked closer and started talking to them, and before I knew it I was sitting on their balcony eating tacos. That would be enough to make me happy, but I'm more than happy right now, I'm actually quite thrilled! Here's the reason: Among the first things one of the guys (Mind you the hottest one with lovely dreads!) said to me was that I had something guys like them liked. Curiously, blushing, I asked what that might be, at wich he moved his hands in a very speaking S-shape. He then continued to explain how much they stare every time I pass by their balcony. And here I was thinking they wanted the skinny women. I win!

Ehum. Anyway. So. First step, engage contact, complete. Next step, use my delicious body to make them drool at me! And I'm home alone this weekend *rubs her hand in satisfaction*.

Worries

Due to a medical condition I currently can't have sex and you would think that I'd constantly go around thinking about it and being frustrated but it's more like I've stopped longing for sex. Not even the fact that I didn't get another session with The Musician can bother me much. My poor pussy hurts so much it killed my lust. You could also think this means I haven't masturbated for a while seeing as my hand also would hurt my pussy but no. I'm lacking the lust but I'm also lacking anything else to do with my spare time and then I normally turn to porn. The nastier, more disturbed the better. I'm not proud over this honestly, I enjoy the orgasms but really, just because I'm bored!?

I'm also mildly concerned that my lust for the darker side of porn will never end and I will keep going down the brutal, sadistical, disturbed road. Right now I can find the porn that turns me on, but what on earth will I do when it's no longer enough? Is this a real concern or is it just me worrying to much as usual? I'll try and stop thinking of it and just be happy with what I am right now, and I'm loving the sexual side of myself right now! If only I had someone to show this side of me too...volunteers sign up here!

https://twitter.com/porrtrollet

Oh yes I have a twitter account now. That can't be good, I'll either forget about it or I'll only post tiny bits of text there and forget about my true intention with my blog.

Black-haired beauty

I absolutley love her hair.

Lovely corset, lovely breasts

I absolutley love the light on her body.

Porrtrollet goes brute

And just to prove to you all I do other stuff than long for pain and torment...

http://porrtrollet.mybrute.com

Lelo Lily and LAYAspot, zomg!

You know the post I made about Lelos Nea and Fun Factorys LAYAspot and how I wanted a Nea but were getting a LAYAspot and that I was happy about it because it was for free?

Well....I got both!!

Turns out my friend is crazier than I thought. Here I was feeling guilty for wanting the LAYAspot and he gets me both that AND the Lelo Lily. Now the careful observer might have noticed I got a Lily instead of a Nea - only difference is Lily is dark purple and lacks the flower decoration plus it's "skin" has another feel to it. How happy am I?!

My new lovelies

I'll be back another day with a detailed review of them both!

Water

I climbed down into the pool and let the water carry my weight, relaxing and enjoying the feeling of the perfect temperature. I did a few laps back and forth in the pool but then I looked up and saw that my master had arrived. Sitting on the edge of the pool with his legs up to his knees in water he looked happy and innocent. I knew he was happy but the innocent part I highly doubted. As I swam closer to him I could tell he really was up to no good. His eyes were glittering with lust and sadism and I knew it didn't bode well for me.

-Hello darling, he said as I grabbed ahold of the edge, enjoying the water?

-Yes, yes I am. It's perfect, you should join me!

Nervously I continued to babble on about the water and the temperature and how good it felt all while my master looked at me with his glittering eyes and kept on smiling.

-Sch my lovely, he put his index finger across my mouth and looked deep into my eyes, it's time.

He put his hands on my shoulders and manoeuvred me so that he had me between his legs and my back was pressed against the pool wall with my head barely reaching above the edge. He placed a kiss on the back of my head and whispered in my ear:

-Relax hun, trust in me. Ok?

-Mm, yes sir I am. But...

-No need for "buts" of "ifs", we're doing this now.

His firm and commanding voice removed the last of my resistance, I had never been able to revolt against him. I closed my eyes and waited. Soon enough I felt his hand uppon my head pressing downwards. I tried to relax and sank below the surface of the water, at first I was able to hold my breath without problem, I could even open my eyes a bit and amaze at the blueisch world I was in. But it didn't take long until my lungs started aching and I felt the panic overwhelming my body. I tried to rise up from the water to get the much needed air but masters strong grip of my head prevented it and I realized I wasen't allowed air just yet. With lungs aching and panic making my body tremble it was a real challenge to relax and be still again but when I succeded and calmed down for a second I got my reward. Master lifted his hand and I broke the surface as fast as I could, gasping for air and tears running down my cheeks. Coughing I turned to face my master and appologized for my panic.

-I know, I know, he quickly calmed me, I know you will do better next time. We got all afternoon to make sure you can do this without panicking. Wipe your tears, catch your breath and get in position again.

I stared at him with a hint of disbelief - to do this without panic, was he being serious? The answer were there in the open, he did expect me to do it again and again until I managed. I saw it in his eyes, the way he looked at me and waited for me to get into position again. Without much thought about it I quickly placed myself between his legs facing outwards again and waited for his hand to push me down. I took a deep breathe this time but I could hear his chuckle as he made me sink below the surface again. The breathe I was holding in didn't help the slightest, only made my lungs ache much quicker and when I let it go in a rapid flow of bubbles I found myself panicking at once and actually forcing myself up even though master was still holding his hand on my head.

-Master, I coughed, drooled and cried, I'm so sorry!

A slap in the face and a gesture got me quiet and in position again. Even though I was dreading the next seconds I wanted to get it over with. I wasen't sure how many times I could make myself go down without guaranteed air. I promised myself to succed, to make him proud.

For the next 15 minutes we tried over and over again and I was still failing at some point during the exercise - always panicking and pushing against masters hand. Eventually I was so beaten from the lack of air, the crying and the psychological stress that I started to feel numb. I let go of my feelings and fears and the next time we tried I willingly went below and stayed below even though it was hurting me. I could hear my blood pumping but the panic had vanished and I felt perfectly calm, like I could stay there forever. I waited for my master to give me the sign. When his hand finally left my head I slowly rose up from the water and drew my breath again. I turned towards him and met his eyes.

-Thank you sir, I said quitely, I am yours to do with as you wish.

-Correct my clever girl, you understand the meaning of this exercise. Always trust me, I know you and can read your feelings like an open book. Give me your free will and all will be good.

He reached into the water, grabbing me under my arms and lifting me out of the water.

-Let's get you dry and warm again. I have need for your mouth and throath in the house.

He supported me as we slowly walked towards our house and I already felt warm, at least inside. I knew the following hours wouldn't go easy on me, my master really loved deep throath and could use me for the purpose longer than I thought possible, but I was happy. I had succeded.

Dreams and lust

Last two nights I've been dreaming, not genuine sex dreams but I've managed to get horny from them anyway.

First dream I can no longer remember any details from but it had a very dominant man in it. Really made me long and dream for submission. I got this picture of me sitting on the floor, leaning against my masters legs and my head resting on his knee while my master is stroking my head. Sometimes sweetly, sometimes rough. The feeling of submission is strong in this picture and I would do almost anything to experience it for real.

Second one I had this morning and it was about electricity. I'm normally not interested in that at all but the dream were hot and as usual it triggered a newfound interest. The shocks were not painfull, more a tingling sensation that sent bolts of pleasure down into my pussy. So when I woke up I spent a good hour in bed, dreaming, imagining and finally touching myself. Took me a while to reach the orgasm but I'll blame that on my friend sleeping in the other room.

So during this morning playing with electricity didn't seem so bad but now I'm back to not liking it again. It's scary, I seriuosly doubt I would like it and honestly not interested in trying. Not at this stage in my life. But it was really cool thinking about it.

Hen party (who made that word up!?)

Last week I attended my friends hen party (party thrown by the bride-to-be's friends) wich was good fun. The evenings highlight must have been the home-party we had visit us. Of course it was about sex toys and the other girls were sitting nervously giggling, blushing and joking around - it was almost as they never seen a dildo before. And you know what, I think some of them never did!

It was cool anyhow, and even though I've seen everything the seller had to show I came to realize I'd really want a Lelo Nea White. I love the way it looks and the way it feels, it's rechargable and I never been much interested in penetrating dildos, more of a vibrator girl.

Lelo Nea White and Black

But seeing as I can't afford one of these right now I'll settle with a LAYAspot:

LAYAspot

It's actually a lot bigger than the Lelo Nea and made in silicon, making it's skin alot softer. I have always had a soft spot for this one but changed my mind after getting the chance to squeeze and feel the Lelo Nea. But as I was saying, I will settle with LAYAspot because I am frikking getting one from a friend for free! Ok not totally for free, the person in question wants some naked photos of me playing with the toy in exchange. Wich is fine, totally understandable. I did have some objections to the matter in the beginning - but then I accepted that he can do what ever he wants with his money. Moral objections I never had though, I've already showed him pretty much everything on the webcam.
So, let's pray it arrives some time soon so I can enjoy it in front of the camera.

They had a total of three bdsm-things on the party; fluffy handcuffs, blindfold and the tiny pathetic rubber flogger. The seller ensured it us hurt as hell and all the other girls screamed like crazy when they tried it. One of them tried it on my arm, mind you I think she hit quit hard, and I didn't blink. Just had to control the sudden urge to moan and beg for more. I convinced her to hit again and yet again I had to withhold the sudden urge of pleasure. I do enjoy these little evidences that I'm not quit like the rest of the girls of my age. Even though I know there are other equally or more perverted as me out there they didn't seem to exist on the hen party.

I have a naked boyfriend on the couch. I think there is something I'm supposed to do with him...

Practise makes perfect

I can really see myself in a situation like this. As usual I'm after the humiliating feeling, this time it would be watching myself giving a BJ to a dildo.

Giving and taking

Ah what memories this picture brings to life. I won't tell exactly who I've done this too but it was a really fun experience to be on the giving side for once. And I tell you girls, it's a lot harder than what the boys make it look like.

I've also done some anal fisting on some occasions and I like it. The best part is of course to see how much the man likes it. And they usually do, they love it with every cell in their body. So I really recommend it. Don't be scared and dont be grossed out. The reward is worth it.

"Dubbelmacka" as we say back in ol' Sweden

It's almost as the girl is of less importance. Are the men looking at each other with passion or with fighting spirit? What do they want, to fuck each other without the girl in the way or are they trying to fight over who get's to fuck her?

Slept like a doll. A fuck doll that is

Apparently yesterdays adventure had a deeper impact on my thoughts than I would have guessed. Spent the last hours of sleep today dreaming about how I masturbated whilst thinking about my friends cock. In my dream I imagined how I stroked it, rubbed it and drooled over it. It wasen't particulary long, just average, but it was thick. Oh I remember being so determined in the dream that I was going to visit this guy, just for the chance of fucking him. Feeling his thick cock slide into me, yummie! I then woke up feeling very confused and wondering why my hands weren't on my pussy.

My exhibitionistic side strikes again

Today was just another day, I was chatting away, teasing my male friend (apparently #5 is still happening in the sex appartment) with comments about my clothes and how my nipples showed through the oh so thin top I had on. Knowing me he quickly demanded a pic ("Or it never happened!" as he said) and I, being who I am, quickly turned on my webcam and showed my beauty. Of course he didn't settle with that and soon he told me that the top didn't fit me; "Maybe you should take it off?" he suggestively asked. After a short deliberation with myself I decided on yes and before I had time to change my mind I was naked from my waist up. Judging from his look and how his eyes immediately locked onto my breasts I did make a good decision. Shortly after I got my reward, a very nice view of his cock, rock hard and very, very, tempting. (Wich reminds me, I still haven't given a BJ in a long time.) Oh so tempting, I can still recall very vividly how it looked. Dreaming about how it would feel inside my mouth or my pussy.

Future boyfriend

If I were to start a new relationship I would never settle for one with a partner who's not into bdsm.

I've been blessed with an open relationship so theoretically I can enjoy bdsm sex whenever I want with whomever I want. Thing is it doesn't happen at the rate that I would prefer. All my play pals seems to have their own life they want to live and I'm not prio 1 in their world as much as I'm prio 1 in my world. Understandable but very frustrating.

I almost never find myself lusting for vanilla sex and if I do I just sit down, breathe and wait for it to pass. I do however have vanilla sex at times but mostly in the beginning of a relationship and then it works because sex is so filled with emotions from the crush and excitment and god knows what.

Point is, I don't get beaten in the amount that I need it. And so if I had the chance of starting a new lasting relationship I would first of all make sure the guy is well aware of his dominant side. If he isen't, well I don't really see this, you and me, working out. Sorry dude, skip along.

In a future relationship I see myself having the option of misbehaving and actually getting punished for it. I see myself getting a email during the day with instructions I am to follow in the evening. I see myself getting spanked over the knee on the nights where there is nothing good on the TV. I also see myself with all the love, compassion and everyday nagging that I have today. I'm not a 24/7. I just need to be painfully reminded of my place more than once every six months.

Craving

I have a craving. Not for chocolate or food but for cocks. A big, juicy piece of meat. Nothing wrong with the normal sized ones but for now I want a big one. And I don't need to be fucked with it, not necessarily, what I want is to give a blow job to it. A guy (preferably with visible muscles) stretched out on his back in a bed. Naked. And a big cock between his thighs, just waiting for me. Big enough that I had to struggle really hard to take even half of it in my mouth. I would play, tease and enjoy myself with it. Giving the guy a marvellous BJ in the progress but that's just a plus. The BJ would only be for my sake. Licking and sucking, hearing the guy moan and breathe heavy. Closing my lips around the head, playing with it with my tongue. That's what I dream of, what I need right now.

From what I've heard I'm rather good at giving blowjobs but hey, gotta keep on practising. Volunteers sign up here!

In heat

For now Sweden are having a marvellous weather. At least if you like it sunny, no wind and 30 degrees celsius.

I'm sitting on my balcony, reading a book and generally sweating. It's actually rather painfull. But at the same time the immensen heat is what makes me horny. Last summer I could tease my sumer crush with the knowledge of me topless on the balcony. This year I have no one to seduce. Sure I have my boyfriend but he's not as fun to seduce as the others I've been with.

And often, in the summer heat, my thoughts turn to kinky sex. Imagining spending a whole weekend in submission. A lonely cottage by the sea. No neighbours within earshot. Forced to be naked all the time. Being taught and disciplined by the musician. Every little thing I do is controlled by him. Every action I do requires permission. Obeying every single command. Spending hours tied up. Sitting by his feet as we gaze upon the sun bathed sea. Being whipped with birch.

Friday last part

When the evening had come to an end and it was time for him to go home we were standing by the door getting dressed when I suddenly felt very bold. Almost foolhardy. I teased and fooled around and blew raspberry at him. I could see his eyes turn dark and angry and yet I stuck my tongue out at him again. He then warned me of doing something like that. But I, being the saucy girl I can be, did it a third time.

Three times I stuck my tongue out at him. Threefold were my punishment.

Omsorg from IKEA

Anyone ever seen one of these? We have one hanging in our hallway wich he quickly spotted.
To front of my thighs got a severe beating with it. Yes it hurt. I sobbed and I moaned and I begged. My legs folded and I wanted to sit down on the floor but he wouldn't let me. As a finisher he hit me on both my cheeks. It was scary as the shoe helper got really close to my eyes but as long as I closed them and relaxed my facial muscles it stopped being scary and just hurt.

In the end everything I experienced during this Friday (pain, emotions, lust) was lovely. Just perfect. Everything was so fucking marvellous that it makes me cry at the thought of not seeing him again. My lack of lust the last weeks has it's origin in that knowledge.

My quest for a master continues. Volunteers please sign up!

Friday part 2

After the intense floggin session we moved into my bedroom where I finally got to taste the cane.

Ten hits he gave me. After each and every one I had to count it out loud and thank him for it. In the beginning I felt a bit silly saying "One, thank you." but after a while it was my only way to give myself a short paus. While the pain rushes through me I need a few secs to catch my breath and withstand the pain. After that was done I thanked him and quickly recieved another blow after wich the procedure of catching my breath and so on repeated. Every hit made the paus longer as I hurted more and more. And as usual, the tenth hit was the hardest, almost making me fall down on the bed wich I was leaning against.

Some time during the bedroom session he took my hand and moved it to my ass so I could feel them. Five of the hits had left swollen stripes on me. Fascinated I followed the lines and rejoiced over them.

I also remember lying on the back in my bed and getting caned on the inside of my thighs. Thankfully he didn't hit hard on the thin sensitive skin but still it was scary. Having my legs spread like that and my pussy fully exposed is both terrifying and arousing.

While lying in the bed like that he also made me wait for his permission to come. That was kinda tricky for me seeing as I have a bit of a hard time coming without my own help. In the end he released my cuffed hands so I could rub my pussy while he was fucking me with his hand. Orgasm, how I love thee.

Later that night I got the satisfaction of hearing his pulse go up as I was caressing his chest and nipples. We were cozed up in the sofa, me with my head on his chest and my ear firmly pressed against it so I could hear his hearth beat. As I was stroking and playing with his upperbody I noticed how his pulse and breathing both changed as he grew more and more aroused. It was a real treat actually.

Hm, what more do I recall of the wonderfull evening...

Ops, solly!

First of all: I lost my sexual lust lately, therefore the blog suffered from non-activity. Today my period grows closer by the minut and I'm back to feeling horny again. I will get back to it asap!

Ass status: Thursday

Looks: Yellow-red-blue bruises

Nothing hurts besides pressing my ass tight against the wall or having a cat walking over it.

zomg

Eeeeh! I have a date tomorrow!

What the hell am I supposed to wear...?

Ass status: Monday

Looks: Still blue circles with red/white stripes through them on the cheeks.

Sitting in the sofa: Haven't tried yet. Sitting in the comfy chair hurts a bit though.

Sleeping: Doesn't hurts as much anymore.

Going to the toilett: Still hurts the most but not a disturbance anymore.

Sitting by the computer: No hurting at all.

Other: Very pale stripes on the inside of thighs.

Ops

My boyfriend has a habit of patting and stroking my ass every time he pass me. He keeps on doing that even after he saw my blue bruises, not because he's mean but because he forgets I'm sore.

Friday nights dream

I was just finished with my PE class in school and was heading for the showers when I realised that my ass would draw attention to it's multitude of colors.

As I was walking naked down the room with a towel covering only the front of me I tried to figure out wich excuse to use. In the end I settled with the truth.

-Oh my god, what happened to your ass?!

-I had sex.

During the same night I had some strange dreams about being hunted by a rapist. I casually kicked him in his groins and didn't get scared at all.

Friday part 1

So, I had a visitor this Friday. The Musician came by for some hours and it was goo-ood!

At first I was a bit uncomfortable and unsecure (silly me). While he was drinking coffee I babbled on about god knows what. Thankfully he soon put me out of my misery by giving me a evil look and I could finally relax and become horny and submissive.

I think I might be getting old cause I can't darnit remember how we started the session. Was it me making coffee for him or me sitting on a chair in the middle of the room? Anyhow, that's the scenario. I'm sitting on a chair with hands tied behind my back and blindfolded. He's circling around me with hot coffee in his hand. I was scared and thrilled at the same time. Not knowing what he was going to do, and happy that I did not know what was going to happen only certain that things were about to happen.

Let me tell you this, a cup filled with hot coffe is hot on the outside too. Especially if it's pressed against my sensitive breasts... God that hurted! I could have done anything to make him stop it, but using the safe word never once occured to me. I kept comforting myself with the fact that it would only get cooler by time and I just had to withstand it for a while longer.

Later on: I'm naked, still on the same spot in the room as the chair previously was. Blindfolded and hands cuffed to my leather collar and no way of protecting my body as he went over it with the flogger. This is probably my favourite part as it contained tons of emotions. At first he changed between hard and soft strokes, making me moan and whimper. Rather normal I imagine it. Then he changed to only soft strokes. So soft that even a vanilla person would have enjoyed them, I do love them myself also. But as he was hitting me he kept talking about the flogger, how great of a tool it was. How you can be very gentle but also very evil with it. It's strings are so light that even a really hard blow dont make a scratch on the skin, thus not breaking the rule of no skin damage. Maybe it was his voice, or the fact I couldn't see and so I was extra sensitive to sounds but I took everything he said to my heart and I got extremely scared. So scared that I was shivering and couldn't stop it. I don't know if I was moaning or gasping for air or maybe I was holding my breath but I was terrified as I stood there awaiting the final blow. Could I cope with a full blow hit from him?

As the minutes ticked away my instincts took over and so when he uttered the words "And suddenly..." I covered. I got so scared that my body took control and tried to protect itself, it was not a consciously decision to cover but I did. As he continued with the words "...you don't even have to hit." I almost started crying. Then he hugged me and I could finally relax.

Very well played on my feelings and fears and I absolutley loved every second of it!

I think I need to go reminisce...in my bed...with lube...

Ass status: Sunday

Looks: A round blue circle on each cheek. Lines are starting to pale.

Sitting in the sofa: Only hurts at the moment I sit down or move position.

Sleeping: Hurts a bit when lying on my back.

Going to the toilett: Hurts the most.

Sitting on the chair by the computer: Doesn't hurt at all.

Other: Pale stripes on the inside of my thighs.

Friday evening brought new experiences

How silly of me to fear the paddle when it is the cane that is the master of pain...

When in need, smash a window

Today I've been busy hanging out with my family (wich included work but also lots of food and cake!) but yet the horny thoughts kept hitting me. I was feeling a bit weird because of it until I finally realised what I had to do - masturbate!

Thankfully the perfect opportunity occured after the gardening my mum had me do. Naturally I wanted to take a shower before the cake happened and so I got a chance to use the faitful bidé. I spent quit some moments on that thing growing up and I've had some of my most perverted thoughts on it. It would clearly place as top 1 on the list of my favourite sex toys. Orgasm isen't minutes away, we're talking seconds here. My guess is that it has something to do with how I'm able to tense my inner muscles when "riding" it. So in honor of old traditions I took a quick ride today and came twice. After that I felt very much relieved and were able to function normally.

When I got home in the evening I got a phone call and now I'm back to constant hornyness...

Puzzlement

Last week I called the STD-clinic to book an appointment. As I were talking to the woman on the phone and she started asking her relationships questions I could hear she got a bit confused when I wanted to get tested seeing as I was in a 6 year old steady relationship. She got even more confused when I told her I have had a active sex life with more than one partner during the course of a year. I wonder what kind of thoughts that wandered through her mind as she tried to grasp the fact of me not being the faithful bitch I'm supposed to be. It gave me a giggle in all my fear.

Tail

I've often fantasized about having a butt plugg that looks like this but now I'm not certain I could bear the shame of feeling the tail stroke my thighs.

The Musician

Here's the background:
As I wrote yesterday a guy contacted me asking if I wanted a play pal for the summer. I said yes, we chatted for a while and then, rather quickly to be me, decided to meet and see if it could lead somewhere. So Monday morning I took the bus to him, I had butterflies in my stomach and a well hidden thought that maybe, just maybe, I would get my ass spanked. But of course, my sensible side told me I shouldn't/wouldn't have sex on the first meeting. Therefore I did not bring any condoms, nor did I shave at all. Anything from stopping my weak morale to get the better of me...

It all started out rather innocent, there were eating, conversations about normal stuff and generally a get-to-know-each-other time. As the day passed we got closer and closer to the question "Do you want to play with me?". As I recall it he was the one who asked first but also the one who answered it first. Positively. I agreed with him.

Eventually we ended up at his house, his empty house with no one to disturb us...
Still I was vaguely determined to not do anything, but also very excited at the thought of something maybe happening. It wasen't until he locked the door that I understood that something really was going to happen. The amount of emotions running through me as he took the few steps from the door to me is probably more than what occurs during vanilla sex for other people. My nervousness, all the excitment and all the joy gathered at a southern point in my body. It made my eyes flicker from side to side, my body tense and my breathing shallow, honestly I think I am a bit addicted to that specific mixture.Soon thereafter I found myself in his bed, jeans pulled down halfway and with his hand raised above my ass, just about to cane me. A few thoughts about my sanity crossed my mind but mostly I just floated around on the waves of pain and pleasure.

One of the things I like to think about the most is when he caned me on the sole of my feet. I've always felt repelled or turned off when seeing it in pictures or movies and so I thought I would never like it for myself, I was not even interested in trying. Well, turns out I didn't have much choice with him and it also turns out I like it. Hurts as hell of course but that's the beauty of it.

Something else that keeps me occupied is the promises he has made for the next time we meet. This Monday were only a "test run", I did not get bruised nor did my body hurt afterwards but that will change he says. I can't stop myself from getting wet by the mere thought of more pain! I think he has some really evil tricks up his sleeve and I'm eager to experience them!

In the end I'm very happy I took this chance as it's payed off already, I think I've met the master I was longing for - at least for the summer.

Still frustrated, but happy

My mind just wont leave what happened yesterday. I'm constantly feeling horny. And longing for the pain that was, and the pain that will come.

Never being hit by a cane* before yesterday was a discovery worth every cent I payed for the bus. I do not own one myself but I think I might just have to get one before the weekend. Blushing a bit here at the thought of aqcuiring something that will hurt me...

Edit: *Cane-like thingie

Porrtrollet makes another notch in her bedpost...

I haven't mentioned anything but a man contacted me a while back, asking me if I was interested in having a play pal for the sumer - frustrated as I am I actually said yes and we mailed and chatted for a while, not very long though, a week perhaps, and then decided we should meet and see if this could lead anywhere. So today we met. And lead somewhere it did.

Details at a later time...