Friday, May 29, 2009

I had a dream...

...this morning. Sweet, sweet dreams of mine.

I was down in my mothers basement to pick something up when a sudden urge to masturbate hit me. For some reason I decided to remove all of my clothes and go into the food cellar, but while doing that I catched a glimpse of a woman heading down the stairs. I quickly tried to lock the door to the cellar I was in but as usual in dreams it wouldn't. Soon there after I could hear her outside, looking for me, asking if someone was there. I was naked and nervous and keept staring at the hatch - that I finally been able to lock - and wondering when she would give up. Much to my surprise the door suddenly opened and a , to me unknown, young woman looked at me with much satisfaction. Apparently she had well known I was there and what I was doing. Blushing I tried to explain myself - that she had startled me and for some reason I had to take off my clothes but now I was leaving the basement so bye, bye.
Thankfully enough she let me out of the cellar but as dreams go I soon found myself in another basement room, filled with people (two to three women and one man) all out to get to me and my body. At this time my embarrassment had reached high levels but I started to realise that it was a sex dream. I was still desperatly trying to cover my body and to find an way out of the basement but as the people slowly moved towards me I got hornier and hornier by the second. The man was stood just a few feet away from me, with his hand reached out to touch my pussy. My eyes kept moving from person to person, I was nervous, horny and badly wanted for him to touch me. The scene was frozen for a few minutes, as to prolong my lustfilled torment. Then I gave in and took eye contact with him, instantly bringing him close enough to touch my pussy, giving me what I had wanted the entire dream. I remember it so vividly, his fingers caressing my lips and making me so incredible horny.

Around here I woke up, immediately reached for the lube and started masturbating. How can one not when the dream were so filled with sex and lust. For once my thoughts were strictly on the dream, thinking about vanilla sex all the way until orgasm. For me that is rather unusual. But the sweet mixture of embarrassment, exposure and the others desire for my body was and is enough to make me come.

Shortly after my boyfriend got home from his workout and I realised he had one hour before starting work. It was a easy task getting him to understand what I wanted and since I already done the prework it didn't take us long to be happily fucking. With me riding him we did a real quickie, which was needed due to the time.

I gotta say, I started this day in the best possible way. I think this will be a lovely weekend, so much fun planned!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Bukakke

I swallowed sperm last night.
Right there and then I gave myself a promise that I wouldn't have to do that again. I dont care who might think its compulsory to swallow when having sex or if its impressive to love sperm. You know what, I can swallow. But if there is a option, I won't do it. I don't like sperm, not the taste nor the consistency and since when does sex mean doing stuff one strongly dislikes. I've done it countless of times and now my common sense caught up with my frantic desire to impress everyone and told it "Bad frantic desire!".
This is not so much about sex (except that I got to tell everyone I got fucked last night...) as it is about me growing up and becoming wiser. Certain insights hit me from time to time and I seem to grow stronger and more confident after realising them. I will still struggle at times but the base knowledge is there, I don't have to impress everyone I meet. Go me.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Girl in sight, ohoi!

It seems to me that I've been hitting on a girl lately.

I'm not sure if I'm being serious with it or if I just enjoy teasing her. She has the cute tendency to blush at everything I say, making her very tempting. She also brings out my dominant side. Thoughts of watching her squirm under my hands are reoccuring.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Jewelry

Well what do you know, found this one at Chagrin and this must be what they look like!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My neck

Getting my neck stroked is to me very erotic and will most likely turn me on. Now, being the naughty, perverted girl I am, I also enjoy being strangled. Partly it's my sensitive neck, partly it's the struggle for air but mostly I would say it's the act of giving up control to my partner that turns me on.

I've never been strangled enough to actually loose my breath and I have no wish to experience that. See, I do have my limits.

A gentle touch of his hand, slowly caressing my vulnerable throat. The other making it's way down my chest and in under my bra. As he pinches and plays with my nipple the grip of my throat fastens and my breathing gets heavy.





On another note.
My boyfriend tried to seduce me today, yay on that!
Sadly we failed to have sex due to a cat who just couldn't understand why I didn't wanna cuddle with him right then...

Monday, May 18, 2009

Home, sweet home.

Back home at the gray everyday life.
At least that's what I thougt as the bus took me closer and closer to home earlier today. Thankfully that was just a bad mood passing over as I soon realized it's good to be back!

So to sumarize the awesome weekend:
-Met interesting people, both normal and perverted ones. The café meeting on sunday were really cool and it was relaxing to meet people my age who are as, or even more, kinky as me. To be able to talk freely about what ever struck my mind was great. Of couse, I think everyone was a bit shy and nervous, the laughters were there but maybe a bit to loud. But overall the atmosphere was good and Im looking forward to going again. Sometime during the sumer. Shouldnt stretch the hospitality of my friend to much and I really shouldn't afford a 300sek bus ticket twice a month.
-Spent time with two of the cutest guys I know. We watched movies, read great books and played computer games. Also, did I mention they both look good? Hello yaoi fantasy!
-Had one, but only one, hell of a session. It was painfull and wonderful. I got gagged, tied, whipped, beaten, bitch slapped (that was new actually, it hurt!), fucked, made to beg and drooled lots. I've actually come to like the drooling part. Before I just thought what a inconvenience it was but lately I've realized the humiliation in it. To helpless to even be able to stop drooling. Welcome sweet emotions. Also, got the hardest fuck in my life so far. Anal. Almost made me come without clitoris stimulation.

As I was going home I came to a conclusion. I will need to get a master closer to home. One who combines the feelings I had for my sumer crush with the knowledge and brutality from my play pal. I can not go on like this. The frustration of not being able to live out my submissive side is actually a heavy burden. Volunteers please sign up!

Apparently sharing what happened during my weekend in Stockholm with my boyfriend will get me laid by him! Inspired by my play pal he choked me, hit me, pulled my hair and in the end, gave fisting a good try. Perfect to end a monday with.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Ouchie

The outside of my throat hurt.
Wonder if Im coming down with something or if it was all that mouth fucking yesterday.
Also, I can't wear a sweater without it pressing down on my sore collar bones.

The real thing

I wish the session last night would have been filmed. I imagine I was quit a sight.
Hands tied behind my back. Breasts tightly tied and whipped. Makeup smudged. Drool hanging from my mouth. Tears running from my eyes. Kneeling and begging him to fuck my mouth.

What I appreciate the most about him is that he's so evil it makes the whole thing real. I don't have to "act" to look scared, or pretend I want to get away from the punishment. I am scared, I would do anything to get away from punishment. Someone else wondering if I'm really sane? Cause while Im there suffering I wonder that.

But afterwards I feel good. It is as it should be. And I want to do it again. Cause underneath all the pain I acctually enjoy the feeling of the whip. I get turned on by the way I imagine I look. Unable to protect myself I lean against him, seeking protection in his arms as soon as he allows me, giving comfort at the same time as he hurts me. A sweet mixture.

How an interesting subject for discussing. The friendliest person you could imagine, turned evil and enjoying my pain. Haha, and this the Swedish National Board of Health and Welfare declared to be sane just now. Truly an impressive decision to be able to see beyond the surface of pain.


Friday

So far the weekend is shaping up nicely. Asides from the macbook dying on the trip down, effectively keeping me from seeing the end of Madagascar 2, everything has been tip top.
-Ive been beaten.
-Eaten sushi.
-Watched nerdy movies with extremely interesting people.

When I packed my clothes I didn't really consider I had to bring clothes that would cover up eventual marks. So now I'm stuck with marks and clothes that will show them. But you know what, I love my marks!

For now I will scurry off to bed, or rather sofa.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Johnny Depp

I generally don't give a crap about celebrities but this one get's all my engines going. Specially in the character of Jack Sparrow. This picture is a mixture of himself and Sparrow, and it hot. I'm extremely weak for this kind of style and look in a guy so a photograph like this is yummie. Ah, I have no particular point with this post.
Just. Look. Drool. Wipe the drool up. Rinse and repeat.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

My play pal

When I was 15 years old I meet my first boyfriend online. We started visiting each other and stayed together for 10 months. Since he turned out to be a true idiot this post wont be about him. It will be about my next boyfriend who I met during that time.

Even during my first relationship I had contact with him and I remember us spending some nights together on the phone, talking dirty and revealing naughty secrets to each other (no I had no respect for normal boundries within a relationship back then either). This was in the time when I first started discovering the kinky side of me (Hm, I'll make another post about my bdsm-discovery later I think) and it developed even more with him. It was all very exciting and forbidden. Ok no, I lied there. I never felt like I was doing something forbidden. How strangely it may sound I always had the point of view that if it doesnt hurt another being, then all is ok. Getting side tracked here.
So, after the breakup with my first boyfriend I soon found myself together with my second boyfriend. We weren't a perfect match as far as love goes, I see that now. But we shared a common interest in sex, bdsm. We explored and had fun. Of course, back then we were two kids playing around without much experience and few homemade toys (got my first dildo at 18...from my own sister!). We had the standard clothespin and leather belts that we had lots of fun with. After three months he broke up with me (cry, cry, sob) and we moved our separate ways.

One year later (and this I'll write because it's a very fond memory) we met yet again on a sumer party. We hugged, happy to see each other and he gave me a kiss on the forehead. I quitley asked him to not do that unless it meant something, his kiss actually reminded me of the pain when he broke up with me. He didn't say a thing, just kissed me on the forehead again. We spent the rest of the evening making out. I would like to call that evening one of my best actually. We even discussed meeting again for some kinky sex (at that time I had been alone for a year with a newly awoken interest in bdsm so I was quite frustrated) but it never made it from plans to reality. I don't know why, think I'll ask him soon. Maybe he thought I wouldn't be able to handle a sex relationship (could be correct) or maybe he only wanted to make out for the evening. Sadly I went home to my place, he went to his and we didn't meet again for a long time I think.

In the fall of 2007 we stumbled across each other on Facebook and started chatting. He then uttered the words "I wouldn't hesitate one sec to tie you up again" wich led us upon the path we are on now. I travelled to his city in some work related education and we got a chance to see if we still worked together. From the moment we hugged at the train station I was horny. Nothing happened that time, we ate, played and watched movies and I had to control myself not to beg him to hurt me. I doubt his boyfriend would have been very happy if I did that. I think it took somewhat closer to six months before another chance to meet occured. I visited him for some days and it was wonderful! He was skilled, brutal and good with ropes. My strongest memory of the visit was when he tied me on my back to a table, arms and legs spread, and put really big clamps on my nipples. He then sat and watched me squirm and moan for some time. I can't express how incredible horny I was. My mind were lustfully floating somewhere in happy place and my body was yearning for more-more-more. And just when I thougt the feeling (read pain) couldn't get more intense he removed the clamps and brutally squeezed my breasts. Intense pain mixed with intense pleasure. I screamed. I wriggled. I looked into his eyes and there were no comfort. Dear god I want to experience that again.

Since then we met a few times more, each and every visit more painfull than the other. I think I might even have reached my limit. This weeked it is time for another visit. It may not be the main reason why Im going but I do hope that we can find time to play with each other.

Somewhere along the road he went from being my ex-boyfriend to being my friend who beats me up at times. I am so happy that we met again. Or else I would be a very frustrated Porrtroll.

Use me, please me

My italian boy caught me of guard the other night with some carefully selected words. He knows wich buttons to push to make me hot. It's been a while since we last did something but it was so sweet seeing his face on the cam again. This time he gave me something new to think about.


-Undress.
His dark voice reached me as I was waiting for his next command. Within minutes I had taken all of my clothes off and given them to him, my master.
Without a word he left with my clothes and closed the door behind him. Shivering from the cold air and a little nervous I patiently waited at my spot, not moving an inch. He trained me well. When the door finally opened I looked up, happy to be with my master again. The shock and embarrassment exploded in my body as I noticed two unfamiliar men behind him. Panicking I tried to cover my body with my hands but a sharp word from my master stopped me. Still not convinced I could do this I put my hands down my sides and stood like a statue, just like his command had told me. However the humiliation was to much to bear and so I closed my eyes.
-Slave, look at me.
I opened my eyes and found him right in front of me, looking at me with his green eyes. We stood silent for a while and I found comfort in his calm eyes.
-I want you to obey my friends as if I were here. Can you do that for me?
My lips curved up to a small smile and I nodded. Confident, relaxed and trusting my master completely.
He stepped back, eyed me up and down one final time and then turned his back to me.
-She's all yours.
As the door closed behind him I moved my eyes to the two men in front of me. Their hungering eyes were ravishing my body and my humiliation returned. I took a deep breath and kneeled, thinking only about pleasing.

Time to drool

I stumbled upon photographer Mclain D. Swift's page and it's packed with lovely pictures. Erotic pictures, beautiful pictures, exciting, amazing, interesting. I sit and drool at them, wishing I could be one of his models. Sadly, as with every nude photographer he seems to prefer models who are borderline anorectic. But for now I chose to overlook that cause the pictures is just to darn artistic to not enjoy.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Darn it.

Meh. No play on friday at least.
On the bright side the evening will be devoted to geeky movies so I'm still happy!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My bad habit


I have a nasty habit of biting my lips. Sometimes even until there's blood! Very nasty indeed. This week I will stop this. Everytime I feel the urge to bite I have one word for myself, ball gag.
My black, rubber ball gag. Wich I hopefully will get to wear this weekend. Hope, hope, hope!



Monday, May 11, 2009

Stockholm Fetish Weekend

Yay, I'm going!

Booked the bus, decided with my friend I get to stay there, started thinking about what to pack...holy crap I have no idea what to pack!?

I'll be meeting people I need to look good! Should I paint my nails black, or would that give out signals I'm not prepared to follow up on? My period started, will it end before friday so I can play properly? Will the workers outside my window ever be finished? What underwear, wich clothes? Will it be warm - sumer clothes - or cold - normal clothes? Ok ok, calm down. This is a sex blog, should probably stick to that...

My friend told me he will kick his own boyfriend out of the appartment if it means he gets to play with me. Hopeully the boyfriend has other stuff to do on friday so we can play in private without the kicking...
My friend mentioned me going to a sex shop and buying something he could use on me, wich could prove very embarrassing - and hot - to execute. I've been to the intended shop before, together with my sumer crush, but alone and to buy something, probably painful, that will be used on me the same evening...that is both exciting and embarrassing. And honestly a perfect mix of emotions that turns me on very much. I hope he goes through with it and sends me to the shop while he's at work on friday. One day I will write down what I remember about my earlier visits to my friend. And I should probably figure out a better references to him than "my friend" because I do have other friends that him. I have my sumer crush and my italian boy that I speak of alot, shall I just call this friend my painfull friend? I'm not really found of that, any other ideas? Should help if I give out the entire story some day too, wich I will. But not right now. Busy bee.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Male friends of my boyfriend

After the workout my boyfriend walked home in the company of another guy (blond) and rode my bike home. Can't be arsed moving at the same speed as they when I have a überfast bike!

Anyway, cough childishly enjoyinging speed cough, I started thinking about the blond guy. From the fact that my boyfriend seem to share sports interest with him I derived the fantasy of me, my boyfriend and the blond guy in bed together. Enjoying ourselfs in the way only naughty people can. Then I started laughing at myself, I do this with every friend of my boyfriend. And the blond one is a new one wich I only seen a few times. But yet I go there, fast as the eye. Just because he had cute eyes.

Stockholm Fetish Weekend

Next weekend, 14th - 17th of May, a huge event will be held in Stockholm, Stockholm Fetish Weekend.
There will be parties, play rooms, dance floor, performances, fashion shows, shibari world record, kinky flea market and much more.

I would so like to go, but I got no one to go with and I'm generally a nervous person who are not likely to do new stuff on my own. I am currently trying to convince myself to at least go to Stockholm and visit a friend and maybe pass by on the more neutral stuff like the flea market or the youth meeting. I can't see myself dressing up all kinky and going to the big party in the evening though. First of all I don't have the outfit to get in, secondly, see above at nervous.

~~~5 mins later~~~
Alrighty, checked up on bus tickets to Stockholm, they are in order. Now I just need my friend to come online so I can ask if I can sleep at his place. I have a naive hope that he will find time to play with me during that weekend too.

Friday, May 1, 2009

I experienced something new today.

This morning I decided to seduce my boyfriend with a blowjob. I love giving blow jobs, it's sexy and fun but it usually gives me nothing more then the satisfaction of pleasing someone. Until today when my boyfriend put his hand around my throat, effectively reducing my air, and carefully moved my head up and down on his dick. It was so incredible arousing! I moaned, wiggled and prayed my gag reflex wouldn't get in the way. Every time his hard dick slided into my mouth and further down my throat I got hornier and hornier! I couldn't think, just wanted more and more. It was fantastic!
Eventually I gagged and he removed his hand immediatley. I'll have to point this out so he can do it again next time.